Wednesday, 31 December 2008

Resolutions for 2009

8 simple rules
(It's also one of my favourite TV shows ;) to ring out the old and ring into the new in Style!
*Wake up early.

*I will talk less.

*I will eat healthy, drink healthy. I will set my body clock right.

*I will improve my concentration and focus, so that I can work harder at whatever I do.

*I will stay away from the net (Does NOT include Insanity Unlimited!!!).

*I will follow a routine, and still ensure, my life does NOT get uninteresting.

*I will become a much better human being.(Boring resolution, but honest resolution)


To sum it all up in one resolution, I won't be such a looser! But, then I will still be same old Insane Iceman...if anybody cares!

Tuesday, 30 December 2008

Things I learnt this year - '08

Another year flashing past, but it has been a year of amazing highs and heartbreaking lows - on a personal note of course.

Best moments - Getting back on the stage after the long exile. Small, but a stage nevertheless. In a whole new avataar.

Worst moments - My 5th sem results. Turned everything topsy turvy.

Good people - My circle of friends

Bad people - The terrorists.

There are a lot of things I learnt and hard-wired into myself this year, things that I just can't forget.

-I learnt to live a little

-I learnt to love a little

-More importantly I learnt to let go.

-I learnt that I can trust a few people with everything that I have. Terms and Conditions apply.

-I learnt that happiness doesn't always grow, sorrow doesn't always diminish, upon sharing.

-A thousand people may ridicule your jokes, because they love doing that, but it might be lighting up somebody's day. That alone, surpasses the thousand people in itself.

-Once you sell your soul to the devil, you can never buy it back

-Yes the world is an unfair place. I was wrong to say I can play a part in fixing it and yet I am not giving up.

-I got the full taste of cunning as well as the loyal.

-I learnt that I was right when I said, Insanity is the way to be!



I also found out that, like every year, black dots and coloured flowers decorated my journey further into the mysterious unknown.

Sunday, 28 December 2008

What kind of a friend are you!!

Horror gripped the heart of a World War-I soldier, as he saw his lifelong friend fall in battle. The soldier asked his Lieutenant if he could go out to bring his fallen comrade back.

"You can go," said the Lieutenant, "but don't think it will be worth it .Your friend is probably dead and you may throw your life away."

The Lieutenant's words didn't matter, and the soldier went anyway.
Miraculously, he managed to reach his friend, hoisted him onto his shoulder and brought him back to their company's trench.
The officer checked the wounded soldier, then looked kindly at his friend.
" I told you it wouldn't be worth it," he said. "Your friend is dead and you are mortally wounded."
"It was worth it, Sir," said the soldier.
"What do you mean by worth it?" responded the Lieutenant."Your friend is
dead."
"Yes Sir," the soldier answered, "but it was worth it because when I got to him, he was still alive and I
had the satisfaction of hearing him say.......







" Man...I knew you would come ! "

Monday, 22 December 2008

Me, Myself and the voice inside my head

I am done for the day, tired of "studying" "so much" and I am lying on my bed all set for my "much deserved" rest.
I feel like a fool sitting BANG in the middle of Salt Lake stadium with all its lights on, thnx to the new street lights, outside my window!You can see me sitting right there in the middle



As I am lying there since I am not feeling sleepy, I begin to think...

" I want to achieve something in life. I want to leave a mark wherever I go, whatever field I am in. I want to be an inspiration to millions of people someday. I want to change the way people think, whether its about me or whether the way they look at their own life.

One day, I will be a great person. Someone who will be an inseparable part of the history books in the future..."


Suddenly the voice inside my head goes:










" Oh CRAP!"

Quite taken aback to -The voice's , two word reply to my 100 word heart-felt confession, I decide to just lie there, looking outside, into the silence, broken only by Pluto's scratching or running or hunting for the friendly neighbourhood bandicoots...suddenly, something else breaks the silence! Its the sound of a bullfrog. Yes!!! its my bullfrog. Its croaking..where is it? where it? Where is the god damned...PHONE? (Yeah its got a bullfrog ring tone - Kritika's favourite :P) I am delighted to know that somebody is thinking of me at this hour (11pm) and I find out it's P-Man's message it says:

"The sun has tired down,
The moon is looking over and smiling, Who says the day is over?
For all engineering students the day has just begun! So start studying..
HAPPY NIGHT OUTS!!"



I think...

" This guy is sitting down to study and I am already in bed....Where am I going with life? Where? Where? "


and the voice in my head goes..

















" LIFE???? WHAT life????? "




--
What the hell? I already have a twin soul and it feels like I am in a crowd even when I am alone. And then, there is the voice! Sheesh!


SOMEBODY PLEASE HELP!!!!

Sunday, 21 December 2008

Contact!


Should you feel you should reach out and make contact with my planet!
I am an ultra social alien-


YOU CAN ADD ME AT:
--------------------------

Orkut Profile: - Add me
Ahh, every living soul seems to have an orkut profile!

Facebook:- Add me
So that we bother each other with our quiz results. Why else?


Messengers:

Yahoo Messenger: icemaninsane@ymail.com (You have to add the whole thing -ymail included)
They call me "Old faithful" at Y! Messenger :D - The smileys, audis, IMvs and everything!
Gtalk ID: insanityunltd <~a.t~> Gmail.com
Gtalk is a bit bland and boring, but the non-tech savvy people hang out at gtalk. Hey I can adjust :P


Email: insanityunltd <~a.t~> Gmail.com
I hate spam!

Follow me on Twitter:
http://twitter.com/icemanx
This thing called micro-blogging catching up and my profile there has been lyin unused for quite a while now!











Social networks:




SMS Group
For some of who haven't noticed the side bar or simply just don't know.
I have my own SMS group where I send 7 (original- ok fine semi-original) jokes and 1 riddle each day.
Only for people without a Humour Handicap.
To join
send
JOIN INSANITY_UNLTD
to
9219592195
or
to 567678





--
This is something I have debated long and hard with my twin soul and some buddies!
Finally an attempt to reach out to the sane kind!

Saturday, 20 December 2008

My exams - now available in stereotype!

Ahh Exams...such lovely lovely exams!
And they come once every f**kin 6 months.
In between there are 3 lovely lovely internals. Oh that's only the theory part. There are 4 lab internals too.

So how do I prepare for my exams? Is it a mystery to my friends? I understand my hourly reports look like I'm fakin it.

20 hours to exam - "Dude I gotta start - you? "

15 hours to exam - "Dude I gotta start - you? "

12 hours to exam - "Dude I gotta start - you? "

11 hours to exam -
"Dude You wont believe it, I just started, and all this looks so frikkin dumb man, like, I wish I had done this days ago, I finished the entire first chapter in just , like , 1 hour or so "

Person at the other end " Dude, that chapter is not in syllabus "

"Oh!"



Yeah, I know, these always look fake! But do you still have a doubt after lookin at my aggregates?


Now lets get back to HOW I prepare.

Sooner or later , ok later (really really later), the harsh reality hits me that study holidays are meant for us to STUDY! The terrible shadow of exams is cast on everyone - EVEN ME!
Whyyy?? WHY ME???


I get my list of "Friends-with-brains" Which includes almost everyone I know (*Ahem*), and get some of them online. Usually its Nush.

Nush(whose nick rhymes with Shush) gets into " Mission:Save Iceman's butt! " mode and begins to mark out what I must study!

Selected topicsu we call it!

The selected topics that everybody give are usually the same, with Nush usually marking about say 50 marks worth more -Only!

ok!

1)We have selected topics
2)I sit down and mark the select topics from the select topics
3) I plan how much I need to cover among my select-select-topics
4)Everything is set - Lets play Counter Strike!!
5)You know what, I get bored of playing computer games after like just 4 hours so I shut down the game and finally finally, I decide to do that thing that I have been putting away for weeks...watch that movie!

Ok you get the picture..though I HAVE scaled things down for you!

10 hours to exam:
I run to Pradeep's room and fall to his feet and cry like a baby!
He picks me up,wipes my tears and selects some select topics from the topics which I had selected from Nush's selected topics.
I sit there for an hour and study those.

The exams -
Firstly, its pretty much like how I explained how my internals are...with minor changes!
Though I am surprised to say this, I am slightly better prepared for exams!

I know the first few answers, so I begin!
After half an hour or so, I have answered 6 marks worth and I cant seem to remember anything beyond that!
I look ahead, Dee has raced off to the 3rd questions already..now my heart starts beating!
The guys after me are frantically discussing something usually! I cant make head or tail out of it either!
Half way through the exam, people begin to realise I am sitting still and my eyes are wandering around the exam wondering HOW ON THE BLOODY EARTH THESE PEOPLE STUDY?
What can they possibly know that they can write for THREE WHOLE HOURS?
Machines I tell you! Machines made by society...nothing else!

After staring at the question paper for atleast another hour and reaching and groping into the deepest trenches of my messed up mind, I remember that I actually - miraculously - know the answer to one of the questions. I dunno how...but THANK YOU LORD!

I write and I write like my life depended on it(With neat handwriting) -


















The 8 key areas of success as listed by Peteer Drucker are..
فارسی‎ سؤولفارسی و از دید حیثیت و حقوق با هم برابرند, همه دارای اندیشه و وجدان می‌باشند و باید دربرابر همه‌ی افراد بشر آزاد به برادری رفتار کنندفارسی‎ سؤولفارسی و از و حقوق با هم برابرند, همه دارای اندیشه و وجدان می‌باشند و باید دربرابر همه‌ی افراد بشر آزاد به دنیا می‌آیندیکدیگر با روح برادری رفتار کنندفارسی‎ سؤولفارسی و از و وجدان می‌باشند و باید دربرابر همه‌ی افراد بشر آزاد با روح برادری رفتار کنندفارسی‎ سؤولفارسی و از دید حقوق با هم برابرند, همه دارای اندیشه و وجدان می‌باشند و باید دربرابر همه‌ی افراد بشر آزاد به دنیا می‌آیندیکدیگر با روح برادری رفتار کنندفارسی‎ سؤولفارسی و از دید حیثیت و حقوق با هم برابرند, همه دارای
اندیشه و وجدان می‌باشند و باید دربرابر همه‌ی افراد بشر آزاد به دنیا می‌آیندیکدیگر با روح برادری رفتار کنند


But every now and then I get the feeling that me and my evaluator don't meet eye-to-eye with my answers! I guess its just one of those feelings that are not true - after all, I have written what was in the text books right? RIGHT?


And ofcourse usually you can catch me shouting
" PASS! PASS! "
Oustide! After the exam...followed by cries of "Oh come on!" .. "Hey put a sock in it"
Some people even bash me up and kick me to stop me from saying that!


You know what the worst part is?

Its not doing the exams badly...its having to listen to people who whine and cry about how bad they are at studies when they are not even half as pathetic as me. It makes me feel doubly useless!

Amazingly I pass many subjects and just barely - mind you. But 80% of the credit goes to other people.
20% of the effort is mine. My BE is still far away, and so are the credits!

Tuesday, 16 December 2008

Things to Consider before declaring against India

10 simple things -
->Lead
->Number of overs left
->Light
->Rain
->Humidity
->Pitch
->SEHWAG!
->SEHWAG!
->SEHWAG!
->SEHWAG!








The background of the following picture says its all...


Viru - " Come get some "

Monday, 15 December 2008

The curse of the street lights

It's night already and I am getting ready to go to bed after a tiring day. I haven't played any cricket, nor have I done any physical work as such. But, dad is now like a bot that's gone rogue. You are never too cautious with him.

I ready the mosquito nets and setup the laptop and every other gadget I use, like I do every night before callin' it. I switch off the lights and notice the bed is more lit up now than it has been all these 5 years of my stay in this house. It's because of a new street light, the KEB* installed RIGHT OUTSIDE MY BEDROOM WINDOW!

*KEB - Those who changed their names so many times(MESCOM/CHESCOM/ASSCOM) that I lost track what they are called now -- they never changed the sh!tty way they function.

Why I am sounding frustrated with that? That is because I can't sleep with even a wee bit of light shining on my face.
In fact I used to be kept awake because of a street light 2 streets away, which I see while lying on my bed. When I found out the problem, I grew cactuses and other plants outside the window. It didn't work out. Later used old notebook cardboards right in front of my face on the window to block the street light. But my best friend Pluto couldn't resist putting in his nose every night to try and wake me up, and later put in his paw to try and scratch me awake, ultimately dropping the cardboard into the narrow slit between the bed and the wall. Unfortunately it took him a whole year to realise that putting his paw in was never going to get me to getup and play with him.

Now I just close the bottom window sill. Slightly more suffocating...but 8 hours of sleep well earned! Provided, I sleep 8 hours, which is another important story of my life - for another post(Remind me).

The govt and its bodies, as I realise, works only efficiently when it causes more damage than help! I heard the "purpose" of this new ultra bright sodium lamp, which was made by the "Keep Iceman Awake" company, was to keep away drug addicts/over-enthusiastic couples and petty thieves from our neighbourhood!

Curse of the dreaded street light - back to haunt my nights.
You would know the gravity of this post if you knew the gravity of missing sleep!

Saturday, 13 December 2008

How to survive a Thriller movie? (Tutorial)

It was only a matter of time before the ultimate movie freak dished out a detail step-by-step survival guide for a horror/thriller movie!

Teaser : - " It could happen to you. In REAL. Who says its just in the movies? What if its closer to you than you think? What if your date with your grave is fixed? ahhhh!!!! "

This is not the guide to watch a scary movie and survive without an attack, but more so - survive if you are LIVING in an actual horror/thriller!
Wow! "Why would I need that? " I hear my reader ask. "What are the chances that will happen to me? " you say. Trust me my friend (or casual visitor who is not coming back to this site-ever!), horror movies are just commercial versions of real life incidents. Slightly more dramatised and over-the-top sound effects. Not to mention the girls who shout through their lungs throughout the movie!

Ok fine, all I said was crap, you will never live a horror movie, but no harm in being prepared right? Let's begin.

When do you know you are living in a scary/horror?







You are a teen/school/college kid:
Old people are for some reason not of huge interest to psycho killers. I have no idea why. They like going after young college people who are easier to kill(read: Dickheads).







My group-best group:
The average IQ of your group is just as much as half the cost of the items in the 99 cents store. If you couldn't compute how much that was, your group is fit for the stereotypical killer!







The Bad Omen:
In the very very beginning of your very own horror/thriller (Notice how I circulate the words scary-horror-thriller along this tutorial?), there is always a bad omen! Bad omen's are the things that actually make you go "Whoooaw...dude!! Like that was totally something man, did that really happen?? Whoooaw! "
For ex:
1)Somebody in your college dies! AND IT AIN'T YOU! Not even related to you.
2)You spot a snake or scorpion or something in your backyard/room/toilet and a macho dude(s) kills it and saves the day! Yay! People are disturbed.









Chicks and the scream quotient:
There are chicks. There are always chicks. It works even if there are only chicks(I wanna watch that movie), but never with only boys(Who would wanna watch that?).
It adds to the 'Ahhhhhhhhh hellllp -Factor ' . So if there are a lot of chicks running around...things are looking set.









More the scarier:
" Sorry bad photosop skills"
Now that there are so many people around you on the run up to your thriller...you need a reason right? It's usually like a-
Sleep over
Big booze party(A dumb guy and his money can throw one helluva party)
Camping trip
whatever?!
In essense - Further you are from help(police/people) , the closer you get to your scary movie.










No infrastructure:
Wherever you are gone now, the infrastructure is a mess. No Power. No water. Shortage of food.No Phone line.
"OMG whats the number to 100? oh forget it the telephone is dead! "









The "hilarious" trick:
"Oh help! Help! My hand is stuck in the blender...I AM GONNA DIE!!!!!....no I'm not, haha got you...I am so funny!"











The big scare:
Your movie has an audience. Or imagine you do. Now just check whether anything thats happening around ya is making them jump. Y'know...keeping 'em on the edge-0-their seats?

For example:
You are enjoying doing something you do every single day of your incredibly uneventful lives but todays something is very unusual and curious about the thing.

*Imaginary music in your ears: dum-da-dum...da-dum...da-dum.. *

Every thing about it is mysterious. Its your 6th sense working. No, not really its just the sound of the dry leaves just behind you. Somebody is there. Probably with a big big knife waiting to hack off a part of your body and leave you a bloody mess. Contrary to natural human instinct to back off and get cautious you show complete heroics and bravely move forward. You even shout "Who is there? This is not funny! "

*Music gets louder and more eerie *
Suddenly the person jumps from the behind the bush - you close your eyes and shout at back of your mind "Make it quick and painful PLEEEEASE!! "

But nothing happens..you open your eyes..and its just a harmless squirrel, nibbling on your nuts (Peanuts - Which you conveniently dropped moments ago - instead of eating!)









" RUN its a Blood-thirsty Super-dangerous baby Psycho-Squirrel RUNNN for your #uckin lives"




Ok, now that we know whether you are in mortal danger or not...lets proceed with the core of the tutorial.











Order of death!
Killers are psychos but organised neverthless..



1)The funny/black guy always dies first!
Nice guys finish last? Not in horror movies. Definitely not this guy!

There is no doubt about this one. The funny/black guy goes first. If you are funny, you better better be the killer for your own sake! (Not that I am not gonna die with laughter.)

If there are no blacks around, there must be some other guy from a minority that your country shows complete ignorance towards? Yeah? Rrrright. That's him. He's just gotta go man. After he was just in the movie to prove to people that the producers were not ignorant about the existence of his people. Now that he has served the purpose, he is useless.


You ain't this person? Then you shouldn't be anywhere around them either.

However if you are just as funny as the kinda guy in the picture above...you better stay away from me too, in case you ever run into me!















2)The horny couple
I'm done with the clowns - next stop Crash the mile-high aircraft!
9 out of 10 times, your horror movie has a horny couple in it!


A Horny couple









They are on the A-list of the killer's - "People to kill". Most suitable moment is when they sneak off from the rest of the group of boys and girls who are amazingly low on libido despite their youthful age and all sorts of trash talk which seem to have been flicked straight out of a teen movie!
So does he/she (The killer) finish off the couple when they are doing their thing? Naah..that's not fun! The killer, who is obviously psycho will wait (and 99 out of 100 times watch) in the dark until the action runs out!

Once they are done, one of them always go out of the scene(probably to "freshen up" or "ease themselves") and as you will later realise, never to return again. Most of the times, its the guy who dies first, because the girl has to come in search of him and then trip over his dead body in a bloody mess!

So what's the point?
If all signs say you are in a thriller - Don't go gung-ho! Or else the #ucker becomes the #uckee!

















3)That guy is such an angel...and oh how funny I should say that, cause he is dead!
There is a guy(/gal) who just seems to be sooo angelish! If anybody should survive this movie, it should be him(/her - fine I'll just say him, the Women's Welfare NGOs can assume a 'her'). He is not funny. He is not nice. But he is an angel. Nobody has a problem with him. Everybody is in praise of this bloke.
Well....He has "Kill me bloody" written all over him!


" Why god why him? "
"Pleased to meet you Mr.Killer, come join me and my stupid friends for a hot cup of coff...OUCH!! A simple 'NO' would have been enough"

Point: Don't be an angel. Don't be around angels!

















4)Jack and Jill went up the hill..but nobody came down!

Its the rest of the group now.

Nope..no sparks between Jack and Jill up the hill. Big chance they are dead! Especially if the lack of chemistry between Jack and Jill was shouting out to everybody around.

People keep going out for one reason or another...nobody is coming back. Unless you were a complete dipshit at math in school, you realise pretty fast that the number of stupid young kids in your vicinity has drastically gone down!




















I suggest this the time you stop worrying about the order of death and start worrying about saving your butt! How? Read on..

Weapons
I am not a NSG Commando but does it take one to tell you to find a weapon to defend yourself wise-ass?

The killer has his own array of weapons. He/she finds anything in the scene...axe/knife/spade/pencil

You better pick up your own too..axe/knife/spade....pencil! And keep switching weapons for a better one. Ideally, hide the one you wanna dispose off.(So that the killer cant find it numbskull)

Say you have a banana, a knife and a bazooka lying on the table in front of you, DON'T SELECT THE BANANA!
" Where have I heard that joke before? "

If you do, there ain't no thriller that's gonna be made outta your story...

























As safe as a straight guy in a gay lounge:

Ok, you ain't as brave as you pretend to be.
Who am I kidding you are a complete wuss!
You are screaming the sh!t outta your butt and running like mad for cover from the killer, because you just saw the dead ass of your best friend lying in the bathroom you just went to pee in. You are so smart that you just know that the killer is behind you...maybe still in the bathroom. Somewhere there!
You run into that garage that is thank-the-lord quite close by. You lock yourself from inside.
1)You bolt it
2)Use the key to lock it
3)Use a rope to tie it to the knob and then tie the other end hell-tightly to the beam that supports the roof with a sailors knot - which God knows where you learnt!
4)You pull that heavy dining table and place it behind the door.
5)You push the refrigerator and let it fall slantly onto the dining table so that it pushes against the door with all its weight!

HAHA, you are so smart...there is no way that killer is gonna get in....

Unless he is already inside....??
"Uh-oh!!"
Point: Overkill - BAD!!!
















When is the best to time to escape?
Say you are hiding behind a curtain, now that the killer has obviously come after you. S/he doesn't know where you at! Still searching for you. While you wait in your safe little hiding spot for help to arrive,which in an ideal thriller, will NOT. So, obviously you shouldn't really be hiding all day(all night - to be accurate). You hafta look for your moment to scram.

Well..duh?...innit obvious? The killer is also human man. Before you think I am getting very emotional...lemme add that I am talking about the killer's bladder!

Even movie character's gotta use the bathroom...though they don't show it in the movie.
" Hey..Ya gotta go when ya gotta go "


That includes psycho killers. So now you know that sitting behing that blind for 8 hours isn't worth all that hide-and-seek!

















Last and the most important point to remember:
RUN!
Psycho killers are amazingly bad runners. Trust me on this. They Just-can't-R-U-N-N-N!!! If there is any saving grace...they are your legs(and I still mean - use them to run).


@};-
@};-@};-
@};-@};-@};-
@};-@};-
@};-

Well, thats about it. If you follow everything on this tutorial you will live to see another day.
But most probably, your life is still the same. People still don't know that you are alive(Just like before). Unless you show your gratitude to this tutorial in the form of a comment after your ordeal!

All the best!

Thursday, 11 December 2008

Small rider on the last post!

Don't you now take things literally when I am joking! Or when there is a potshot article on the blog...If I have to explain that now, its gonna be a tough job! ;)

The last thing I want now is people jumping at me taking everything literally and then casually referring to the last post!

for ex: I really don't want a big blue whale as a girlfriend!

The easiest thing would be to take the more positive side of it - cause that's usually what I mean! In fact it is said that a person takes the negative/positive side of any statement depending upon his/her own mentality and I am not just talking about optimism. Take that smart ass, HAHA!

for ex: I say "oh that guy is complete a$$hole"
I mean - The guy is a complete a$$hole!
I don't mean - I hate him/ I would like to kill him / He is my enemy



"I'm so misunderstood" (singing - not crying...BAH!)
Save me Jeebus!

Monday, 8 December 2008

So what am I trying to say?

Have you ever had this frustrating time when people try to find a different meaning within what you are trying to say?
Well..me too...LIKE EVERY DUCKING TIME I WANNA SAY SOMETHING!

Most of you might have noticed that one of my last posts - "Do you have it in you?" has been deleted. My apologies to the people who read and/or commented, but I didn't want it on my blog anymore.
It was a simple post aimed at bragging about my non-existent fitness. Obviously, having been called a fitness freak during my 11th and 12th (I wonder if it was because of the 1 KM Swim and 21 KMs of cycling a day - Not sure), it gave me great pleasure to write something like that.
But unfortunately, yet again, it took a new meaning and turned into a Sympathy Special.
Gimme a break! Can't a man brag a little?

Other such incidents:
Q)You get a lot of forwards I guess? your phone doesn't stop ringing...
A)Oh you want me to send you some?

Q)My-ex girlfriend is so fat..
A)Are you saying you want a thin gf?
(No I said I want a big blue whale for a girlfriend...an obese Blue whale)

I was curious to see how people regarded the group messages, as forwardable or not, so I ask...
Q)Do you forward my group messages to other people?
A)(Most common answer) do you want me to forward them?
(JUST DUCKIN TELL ME WHETHER YOU DUCKIN DO IT OR NOT??)

Q)(Quip) Writing the movie names in all uppercase is a grammatical error :P
A)(Rubs) Oh you won't gimme the movies?
(WHAAAAAAAAT?)

Q)My Ex-gf is so fat..(another one)
A)Are you saying you are Mr.Hunk?
(Will you let the God forsaken man crack his God forsaken joke?)

Q)I feel like cycling to college everyday, its a good exer...
A)Are you saying you can't afford for the gas?
(No..if I was saying that - then you would have heard it as...well...I CAN'T AFFORD THE GAS!)

----

Addition ;)
Q)Oh good I am not in the picture(because I don't like pictures)
A) Awww don't be so sad...

:O :O :O???

----

Harmless but still I-am-so-frustrated-I-wanna-jump-off-the roof sort of circumstances!


I am hoping you have got the point!
When I am saying I am sitting...it means I am sitting! Unless ofcourse, I said standing and in which case you might have guessed, I will be standing(Beginning to get the drift? Good! Stick with me).
I will not be trying to say anything other than what those words suggest in the normal-people's standard english dictionary and what normal peoples grammar/literature etc,. would suggest!

The accuracy is regretted!

Friday, 5 December 2008

...and still the pride shines through the darkness


You can kill a man in India, but you can never kill the Indian in him!

Monday, 1 December 2008

Monday, 24 November 2008

And soon it will all be gone

When college life got over, nobody knows
How in college life, all the time flows
seems like yesterday, I brought my bags here,
new place, new life, strangers a certain fear

Now, I ask myself, did I leave my mark?
A worthy voyage was it, or is the answer too dark?
Did I make enough friends? should ask the others,
made enough friends,sisters a soulmate and brothers?

years passed so soon, and I have worked hard
never ever did I let down my gaurd
I will get my answer in all the teary eyes
during farewell and half-hearted goodbyes

I now wish, I'd had more time,
just a little more, to make more friends mine,
marks will come and go, like success and all its hype
but, mark my words, friends will stay for life

I think I made some mistakes, probably caused some pain,
but, given a chance, I'll commit them again.
I have done what I had to, no regrets here
I've come out all guns blazing, in top gear.

Now, we are through, we are ready for the world
of uncertainaties they say,into which we are hurled
what happens in college, in college it stays,
Thats why, today is where we all part ways

Friends will be dejected, lovers will cry
find a new place to meet, let the spirits fly
This is an occassion to cheer, you have finally won
conquered the world, now waiting for the new sun.


I've definitely taken more than what was on offer
Let's just prepare to make the times, far better.
My bags are packed again, but can't meet all the eyes,
because we all the know the truth, Friends don't say goodbyes

You can defeat anything oceans,mountains and hills
why worry about education loans and coffee bills?
One parting thought,a suggestion, about college days,
Girls and boys - better enjoy it while it stays!


Cheers, to college life!





--
Written and posted a few months in advance, so that all of my batchmates enjoy what remains of their college lives!

Thursday, 20 November 2008

Stop searching for inspiration - Be one!



From Mithunda to ROW, hoping to inspire the masses.
Thnx for the pic Mithun :)
And thnx to NRN for The great Indian dream.


--
Note: I am having trouble posting the image. Click on the picture to view it properly.

Girls, gays and me!

Love at first sight part-II (a.k.a)

Preface:
I want to narrate two incidents today, since I have been busy and could not write for quite a while, I decided to club both incidents into one single post.
A word of caution, the blog sounds incredibly desperate, since it is made to sound like that, if you have a poor sense of humour, this is where we part ways.

Disclaimer:
Please NOTE: that this incident or its narration on Insanity Unlimited!!! has absolutely no relation to the horrible(as described by hordes of movie goers) "Dostana" which is making waves among all the homosexuals and perverts across the nation. This post was pending from long before I woke up to its nonsense.(It was necessary to bring this to the attention of all the Ridiculously smart asses who might have made some guesses based on the title
- rest of the world, please ignore this note and read on)


This post is also called Love at first sight part-II, if you are a new reader, please refer to the part one (Which I have not a clue why, is necessary at all!!). Meanwhile let the rest of us pick up where we left off.

The real deal:
After the huge setback of the last 'love at first sight' saga, it was thankful enough that I didn't take to drinking and smoking and doping and groping( ok ok, it was not so dramatic, but we need some spice before we start).
Still in the search of any kind of excitement in my incredible boring life, the blog of which churns up best sellers out of articles written about old cricketers retirements and has absolutely no relation to my own life, I hit upon a shake-up of the month on a popular(not-so) social networking sight.

One fine day on the network, I get a message from a certain self-proclaimed "Smart guy" who says 'Hi...want frensip'. Short and sweet and incorrect. Brutal murder of english perhaps, but I decided to ignore the message. I got some 10 messages in my inbox of the site withing a span of some 5 hours, all more or less the same thing as above. I decided to just give a polite "Hi" as return and so I did.
Lo and behold, barely 15 minutes have passed, I get a new message "plz reply if u like gay, if not me you frenzzzzzz".

From the past 5 -6 years I have had to deal with boys and girls who are under the impression that in order to be cool, you should be able to crack a "Gay" joke.
All these Oh-I-am-so-funny boys and girls, the insult to real humour that they are, are also insult-to-balls and would not even remotely dare to pull such a prank on anybody in this way. So this was definitely not a prank.

This "Smart guy"s new message put me on a flash back to an evening on Betta when a certified gay couldn't stop staring at P-Man and me. It had scared the sh!t outta me.
I ignored the new message and he kept sending the same message over and over again. Until he totally pissed me off and I just replied with a "what?" .
Thankfully the private messages stopped immediately.

Maybe I am supposed to be "Understanding" all the gay peoples "sentiments" here, but all I can say is...Duck this sh!t, he is a duckin gay!!

This explains the gay part of the eyebrow-raiser title. Now for the girls part and also the love at first sight part, though it has hardly ANYTHING to do with love, just like the first part!

...

Fast forward some two weeks, give or take three days, I am on driver duty for dad. Taken him to a clinic in the heart of the city because of his heart-related issues(NO! thats not the love part).
The doc is late, so I decided to stay away from the crowd inside the clinic and sit outside on my bike and reply to some of the messages on my cell (Yes, the same cell on which 85% of my recieved messages are from my own sms group!).

As my eyes wander around the occassional idle periods I notice a girl,sitting alone at the back seat of a car on the road-side, intensely staring at me. She was somewhat cute! Fine, she was really cute. I slowly turned my neck around to watch whom she was really staring at. Alright, nobody behind me, just walls. I recieved another message and I got back to messaging. 5 minutes later, I look up, and she is still staring.

My mind went into another flash back, to the same girl from the Love at first sight Part-I story. I decided not to fall into the same ditch again. I just said to myself:

"This girl, who is cute, I mean really, is NOT STARING AT ME, and did I mention cute?"

Took a deep breath and got back to messaging.

5 minutes later, same thing. She(the cute girl) is still staring and now smiling. This made me look at her a little more obviously and rather questioningly. Probably, because of that, she turned away too.
This happened for quite a while

By now, you must have realised that the doc was conveniently, a little too late.

Finally something happened, a guy, (her brother...fingers crossed), came over and spoke to her. God knows what. She nodded quite strangely and he took of again in a hurry, across the road.
As he went away, she picked up a water bottle from her seat and and started playing around with it in her mouth, still looking at me. I had no clue, what to make of it.

"Ok! She is definitely looking at you, this is not a repeat of the first girl..."


After a while I got bored of all the staring and eye contacts (can you believe it?) and I just decided to go back into the clinic to see what dad was doing. He was reading the newspaper and the crowded room which was bursting with opinions (Typical Indian crowd) about anything and everything, most of it poorly educated opinions, was now quite, boring and uneventful like my life.
I heard my cousin and aunt were sitting in the next clinic and rushed to meet them. After a bit of chatting outside, I noticed the (cute) girl again. Turn and searched for her rather,just in time as her - brother - brought her an ice-cream cone.

She (did I already say cute?) opened the door of the car, got out and started licking at the ice-cream, still looking at me. She seemed to be finding it amazingly difficult to take a simple lick off that ice-cream and before her brother could scream - 'careful' , she spilt her ice-cream all over her dress.

The good brother that the guy was, he cleaned her up and made sure she ate the remaining cone.






It did not take me very long to realise that, the girl was in fact.......A RETARD!!!






The picture shows an artists conception of how I might have looked when I realised the naked truth that day.



WHY GOD WHY?????? WHY ME??????(I know I am not being politically correct throughout this post,but still...I need to ask) WHY ME!!!?????

Wednesday, 19 November 2008

YOU??!!??

You? Hahaha!!

***************************************************************************

Every king was once a crying baby,
every great structure was once a blueprint.


***************************************************************************


A: So you want to come back after 5 years and shoot your girl's boy?

B: No, after 5 years, when I am ready, my girl's boy will shoot himself.



***************************************************************************


The power of under-estimation is the best gift your critics and enemies can endow you with...bask in it.

Friday, 14 November 2008

The three colours now - over the moon!

My love with the moon has been a long standing fact. Even as a kid, I seemed to be more intrigued by its a quite, luminescent presence in the skies, than other kids around. A lot of mummies might point out the good old "Chandamaama" while trying to feed them at night. But when the brains of these children evolve, they are bored of the same old moon that's been up there in the sky forever.
It was not the case with me. Yes, I was definitely bored with the "Chandamaama" thing. But the space, the stars, the vast unknown and especially the moon, so close to and yet so far, always captured my interest.

The fact that the main picture of this page you have been viewing all these days is of a moon, should be a testimony to my attraction to the 'heavenly bodies'. Its the picture of a moon rising over the Indian ocean. What an Irony isn't it?

Even among Pramukh's widely talent-filled range of photographs, three pictures caught my attention completely, no points for guessing which! I wanted to include one of those for this post, but decided having two images of a moon on the same page would not be a pretty good idea.

I was in 10th standard when ISRO first announced that they were planning a moon mission. In library it was a common sight to catch me with two other buddies with a big book on the universe, animateldly explaining to a bored pair of audience almost everything I knew about space(Deepak Madappa and Shoaib Ahmed - My closest buddies at the time). The day I had read about ISRO's announcement, I said something like this to them..
" You know, I always wished India started sending stuff into space and sh!t like that, but today I know India can't. You read the paper today? They want to go to the moon, hehe, you think the govt will fund that long? There will be some group that will protest and strike and this and that, the usual stuff that goes on in our country and it will be cancelled midway.
And they are gonna take till 2010 it seems. Bull!! I can't wait for that long. Mark my words, it will be cancelled"

Fast-Forward 6 years...

Few days back, I was elated when the rocket took off, some friends asked "You must be happy, but how come no blog on this? "
The reason was simple, I was still doubtful that the impact probe wont hit the moon. That the mission will fail. I didn't want to write about it before it was a success.

Yesterday night, the power is gone as usual, the only light available is that of the moon as I walk and walk admiring the stars. And the people on earth, they seem to look more beautiful at night.
I am glad Indian life in still dotted with power cuts.


Today morning,

Hayden proves again why Australians are pathetically sour loosers with his statement that implies that they lost the series only because India is a third world nation.

Anand Jon, a designer of Indian origin is convicted of sexual harassment.

Lt.Col Purohit - I am responsible for the blasts.

These three snippets of the news are one of the reasons why I doubted India's ability to land on the moon one day, Now, read on...



Indian Tricolors, have finally been planted on the moon.
The first country to land on the N Pole of the moon.
The 4th country to get there and we got there in style
Providing the world with High Quality resolution atlas images.
Maybe the country that discovers Helium-3 , the magic fuel.



Indian teams crushing victory over former colonisers is worth a mention?



All I can say after the news is...Ironic, simply ironic!!
Times are changing, rest of the world, sit up and take notice, Beware!!



India-You beauty, take a bow!

Happy childrens day :)

Hello baccha log,

an important quote for you,
"There's no point in being grown up, if you can't be childish sometimes."


I have been at the zenith of childish behaviour today :)

Thursday, 13 November 2008

The bad boy of cricket!

Wise men speak, because they have something to say,
fools speak, because they have to say something!

This post is about beloved Dada, the wise man, who spoke from the mouth, bat and sometimes the ball, every single time he had something to say and silenced all those fools, who had said more than done.


" On the offside, there is God and there is Saurav "

The real bad boy. He exploded onto the indisciplined book of cricketers list , just like he exploded onto the cricketing scene with a century on début , by being the player pulled highest number times since the day ICC's code of conduct was introduced.

Bursting onto the scene was not enough for him. He pulled the Indian team out of its own ashes and re-invented what cricket meant in India. Now, the team wanted to win, than just be craze in the nation. Brought real competition into the side. Fiery blood and aggression is what he induced into the Men In Blue.
Invented the "Great Indian Huddle".
Finally became India's most successful captain.

Would you dare to take off your shirt and swirl it in the air (With or without profanity) in your college fest, let alone a packed stadium at Lords AND on international television?




" Guess who is back? "



Not afraid to speak his mind, he always left a lasting mark every time he spoke, through words or willow. Testimony to this fact is the point that he is 6th on the all time list of Man of the Match awards. Big deal? Try doing that when a billion+ people are trying to pounce on all your mistakes.(Go back up read fools)



Sent a silent chill down the spine of millions of people with his pepsi ad:
"Hi mera naam Saurav Ganguly hain....bhoole tho nahin?
...stadium main fir ek bar apna shirt ghumane ka moka dijiye "

It takes guts to shoot an ad like that, and utter honesty. Not self sympathy. He came back onto the scene, he was still there, his "Mentor" was not, and finally did what he wanted to. Took off his shirt one last time, swung it in the air and this time, threw it to the blessed fans below.

In the process, he showed people from all walks of life, what a fighting spirit means.


" It ain't over, till I say it's over!! "

To Dada,
The real fighter,
The Comeback King,
Sport's greatest script writer,
Capt'n Courageous.

For silencing all the fools, for putting Hollywood sports movies to shame and retiring on your own terms.

All the best

Friday, 7 November 2008

Stop Global Warming

I created this guy, over a year back, as a DP for my gtalk. The words, however, were not visible on it, so I had confined him to the deepest trenches of my file system.
No, no, wait I am not running out of topics to publish, be patient.

Today , thnx to Benne Batta, I searched around for a DP for orkut and found this guy, still smiling :)

I created him to look like me(Shabby hair, goatie and no, I don't wear an eyepatch ) , but unfortunately for my poor image-creation skills, he turned out to be a cute little fella.

Hello? You are missing the big picture... Stop Global Warming. (Don't just write about it ;) )

-
1) Burn less electricity - switch off that fan/AC/tubelight whenever you can do without them.
In other words, make sure all your fans get pissed off on you!
2) Walk to nearby places, or cycle, rather than a vehicle
Use efficient means of transportation. Govt. buses, would be great, but you wouldn't go that far would you?
3) Dont waste paper. (boycott exams)
4) Plant more trees, wherever , whenever possible. (water them all, in all possible ways- ask the trees on Chamundi hills "Who helped you grow?"
5) Don't cut trees either! No deforestation! You can chop off your own head instead.

I know what your question for me is, the answer is- Yes. To quite an extent!

Thursday, 6 November 2008

Wrong call Mr.Raj Thackeray

Raj Thackeray is perfectly absolutely perfect in what he is doing!
We all should support Raj Thackeray and take his initiative ahead by doing more...

1. We should teach our kids that if he is second in class, don't study harder.. just beat up the student coming first and throw him out of the school
(I'm sure Raj Tackeray would have come last even if he was the only student in the class)

2. Parliament should have only Delhiites as it is located in Delhi

3. Prime-minister, president and all other leaders should only be from Delhi

4. No Hindi movie should be made or shown in Bombay

5. We must not allow Marathis (or other outsiders) inside the Mysore Palace or Dasara Exhibition or the Pizza corner, simply because they are outsiders.

6. All Maharashtrians working abroad or in other states should be sent back as they are SNATCHING employment from Locals

7. Lord Shiva, Ganesha and Parvati should not be worshiped in Maharashtra as they belong to north ( Himalayas )

8. Visits to Taj Mahal should be restricted to people from UP only

9. Relief for farmers in Maharashtra should not come from centre because that is the money collected as Tax from whole of India , so why should it be given to someone in Maharashtra ?

10. Let's support Kashmiri Militants because they are right in killing and injuring innocent people for benefits of there state and community

JAI MAHARASHTRA !
Why didn't we think of this before? Raj Thackeray, we didn't know being shit jobless turns you into a genius.

Wednesday, 5 November 2008

A Jumbo ending

How much do 619 wickets equal in runs?
How much do they include when you are not really a spinner and when you are bowling more in India?
How many more runs do you get for inspiration in the dressing room and beyond?
Once in a century, a player emerges who gives justification to the tag line "The gentleman's game" and finally, all good things come to an end.
To Jumbo - The real gentleman. The greatest match-winner, if not record breaker, ever to honour the game.
All the best to the Silent Assassin.

Sunday, 2 November 2008

School..so cool

It was so much better then. I had my own place in my own world. Maybe it was insane then too but, at least I was innocent. So were everyone around. The petty fights, quickly forgotten, harmless quips, supportive teachers, the grunting bus driver, the bakery guy at the stop.
You didn't have to know who was lying.
Who is cheating.
Who is back biting.
Where Ekta Kapoor got her imagination from.
You didn't have to decide between doing two things as what would be right.
You didn't have to scold anyone nor defend anyone.
You didn't have to warn your buddies about anything.
You could expect anything from him.
You didn't have to worry about your friends image nor yours...cause you would be forgiven and everything forgotten anyway.
And personally I didn't have to wonder what all the perverts were commenting about Priya [Shame on you if you don't know her already - go scan my old posts]
You didn't have to win while being a handicap against teams taking potshots at you every now and then.
You didn't have to face people who chose to show hate than indicate.
You didn't have to wait to get online to speak to someone whom you sit next to in class.
You didn't have to listen to people talk about 'life' for everything. "Life is like this...life is like that.."
These masters of philosophy make you feel like you got lost and entered into Baba Ramdev's ashram or something! The funniest situations turn into "life" changing statements for the unfortunate beings. I always thought finding love for everyone on earth was a stupid thought...get a life!
Nobody with crafty remarks that say you are ugly or lazy or dumb or just a fool, uncool.
You didn't have to worry about adding the right emoticons/smileys at every message just so that person at the other end does not think you are serious/dejected/angry.



Most importantly...
You thought everyone around you were friends for life and now you are not so mistaken.

Saturday, 1 November 2008

Why Dark Knight may not win that Oscar


You just need one loose mouth to make an outrageous comment not consistent with reality to start a rumour. Just because a bunch-o-loonies who never watched a proper action movie were humbled by TDK, the best comment they could give was, Heath Ledger will win an oscar.

First of all lets consider what are the qualifications for a movie to win an oscar...

1) The movie should not have any swift movements. Or else the 90+ years olds who are part of the jury that decides who gets the award, might have a heart attack and then there will be no oscars

2)The movie should be able to put you to sleep

3)After watching the movie, even though they found it boring people must comment "Wow! What taste, it might made my eyes water". Yeah I am sure there was water under your tightly shut lids and the dusty surface of Mars.

4)Not more than 20 Teens must have watched the movie

5)If anybody below 25 brand the movie "Cool!" then the movie is out of the oscar race.

6)The movie must not even be a fraction as foul as the people who host the academy awards functions (Chris Rock for example)

7)The word 'Fun' must be the last thing that comes to your mind when you think of the movie

Its a long list, but if I write all of them, it will put you to sleep and they will consider awarding an Oscar to my blog for it.

I watched the movie. Yes yes long back! But I just got tired of all the "oh it will definitely win an oscar" crap. Not that it does not deserve one. I think the movie itself deserves an oscar, but then don't SO MANY MOVIES THAT NEVER WON!!??

Now don't ask "like what?" cause I have watched way too many. Lagaan was quite a laugh when it generated its own hype. A commercial movie, winning an awards that was not even distantly related to anything Indian.

Getting back to TDK. Would the freaks be saying the same thing if Heath Ledger hadn't passed away so unfortunately? I mean seriously, how many freaks would have known to say that so and so movie was his/her favourite unless it was on top of an IMDB list? The most they can say to this comment is "Hey I really liked that one"....oh-oh-oh-kay!
I certainly thought he was awesome as the Joker. There are very few people who could have pulled it out as well as him. But he should have won one for Ennis Del Mar. If they decide to give one NOW just because he is dead, I doubt he will rest in peace!
Besides, (I know this sounds cold, but) even Aaron Eckhart would have generated the same yap yaps if he had passed away! duh!



The Icy Review:

If I have to give my own inputs about the movie, lemme say though the makers still cant stick to one guy to play their lead, I found Bale fits the role really well, he would be my favourite after West.

For die hard Batman fans, I had no idea they would be introducing another Villain (My favourite Batman villain )

Whatsitbout?

Batman finally wants to settle down in life with his long time friend Rachel. Icing on the cake when Gotham's white knight arrives in the new DA Harvey Dent who knows no fear. But a new breed of scum has arrived on the scene too, in the form of the Joker. Deception, sacrifice, pushing limits all bundled in between enough comic scenes between Alfred and Bruce make for a great movie. One of the best in the year and for a while.

Joker says "..You need an ace in the hole. Mine's Harvey"

The ace in the hole from the film makers?
Casting Michael Caine as Alfred and Freeman as the legendary Mr.Fox.Gary Oldman as James Gordon.
The all new Batpod.

Some changes:
The bat 'cave'
The bat suit
The bat mobile
Bat pod
Every single actor :P as usual

The siren that plays in the background is the master stroke.

My favourite quotes:
I believe whatever doesn't kill you, just makes you - S-T-R-A-N-G-E-R!

To them you are just a freak, like me. They need you right now, when dont , they will cast you out. Like a leper.

Favourite Dialogue:
Comish Gordon: Where's HD?
Joker: What's the time?
Gordon: What difference does that make?
Joker: Depending upon the time, he might be in one place or....several!

Most gripping scene:
The chase in the lower 5th.


Where did they bungle up?
1) Joker - a freak, can just casually wander into a mob without being shot?
2)When you notice a burning bus and placed in a way most obviously indicating that the miscreants want you to take the lower 5th, will a police team transporting Harvey Dent really take the diversion?
3)Why didnt anybody notice, not even Harvey that Bruce Wayne was at the press conference where Batman was supposed to surrender?
4)When Bruce Wayne notices his own employee emerge from a wrecked, how come nobody notices that he not even slightly bothered at his sight?
5)Harvey Dent is the DA of GC and still so dumb that he thinks Batman can be killed by a bullet?


My movie craze and amount I spend talking about them might be inversely proportional, but I decided I must have a word about the action movie that impressed such a wide range of characters.
Still hoping Heath Ledger wins that Oscar :)


R.I.P

ಕನ್ನಡ ರೂಲ್ಸ್!!

ಕನ್ನಡ ರಾಜ್ಯೋತ್ಸವದ ಹಾರ್ದಿಕ ಶುಭಾಶಯಗಳು!
ಸಿರಿಗನ್ನಡಂ ಗೆಲ್ಗೆ :)
ಕನ್ನಡ ರೂಲ್ಸ್ ಕನ್ನಡ ರೋಕ್ಕ್ಸ್ :ದ

Thursday, 16 October 2008

On a "Vacation"

" Your BSNL Account usage for this month is 1.541 GB "

If you didn't understand that, I will translate it to like-duh-language for you, it says
"You wont be seeing me online or on the blogs for a really long time."
This also means, no messages on the SMS group.
Unless ofcourse I am mad enough to wake up at 6ish AM just to blog and spread the "Joy".


....HaHa!


Meanwhile:
Check out my previous post, published today!

" Everywhere I look, I see chaos, panic and destruction, I guess my job here is done! "

My worst test so far

I had my internals today and thanks to my awesome preparation and VTU's wonderfully interesting subjects, this is how both my tests went.

First 5 minutes - I was not even in class/hall (This was in the morning, in the afternoon I came on time)

5-10 Minutes - Took my question paper and filled in my USN, Name, Subject name and anything extra that I could write on the first sheet. Too bad I can't do this during the second test!

10- 20 Minutes- I stared at the question paper trying to give the teacher/invigilator an impression that I was actually going through it. Unfortunately, every time I looked up, she was looking dead straight at me

20-30 Minutes- Bond, James Bond. I was bending my head as low as possible and peeping into the blue books of the guys around me with an imaginary James Bond theme playing in the back of my mind. No, it was not helping!

30-40 Minutes - I manage to catch a glimpse of something from the book of my neighbour, and I write 4 and a half lines in the first page of my book until he turned his page.

40-45 Minutes - I write what I read in the morning newspaper(Business column) with very bad handwriting, so that she feels I wrote something subject related.

45- 50 Minutes - I busy looking at other people, trying to understand how these people ever manage to study and write so much. Wondering how I can never study like them. The invigilator is busy trying to catch me copying

50-55 Minutes - I revise what I wrote in the first sheet, checking and rechecking if all the details are filled properly

55-60 Minutes - I am writing page numbers at the bottom corners of each page.

60-65 Minutes - I make sure she catches me writing something in the last moment...just hoping against hope that she remembers this while correcting my book and doesn't understand a word of it.(Yes 5 Minutes and this was only in the morning, in the afternoon I was out on time)

Monday, 13 October 2008

For the closest and the closest only

"On the canvas of life, we often go off colour, but as long as people like you are there to add the right shades, life goes on to be a rainbow"

...for those who can't be lost, for those select few,for whom no reasons are good enough to loose, not even ego in the guise of self respect or even self respect for that matter, for those who simply can't be left out, no matter how sour the feelings from the other end get, or even sickeningly sweet.

Thursday, 9 October 2008

To Dada with love...

The storehouse of guts and gumption, on his final fight...All the best!
[a year ago]

Wednesday, 8 October 2008

Basking in the SUN SIGN!

The secret to writing a good book about predictions they say is writing a loose set of facts that every individual who reads them thinks that it fits him/her.
First you write a lot of good stuff and you butter them up, when they are still feeling high, write some bad stuff...like nobody is perfect you know! And then, before things start to get too negative, reassure that all the bad stuff is a misunderstanding or just very rare.
But its important to point out in the beginning of the book that they ain't just a loose set of lines designed to fit all. Then everybody will believe you.
Linda Goodman wrote one such book..that became very popular! So much so that she has her own cult following. One such crazy fan is one of my closest friends and she will definitely kill me for this piece here. Here are some lines from the book that describe a Gemini:

*If you have a Mercury friend, you've probably already experienced a common Gemini habit that can be so annoying it can give you ulcers.

*Yes, I said enigma. If you expect anything else, like a man who's stable and patient, who will gently play Darby to your Joan while life and love glide on as smoothly as a gondola down a romantic canal in Venice, you're headed in the same direction as a merry-go-round. In circles. Get off fast and never mind about grabbing the brass ring. Don't let the gay, light-hearted music seduce you into following a painted scene of constantly changing colours, with shades of dreary Gray as likely to show up as sunny yellow or blissful blue. If you're an incurable romantic, seeking perfect harmony, you're in more than a little danger. (What the hell man?)

*Geminis tend to discard old friends for new ones

*it's not a good idea to expect a Gemini husband to give all females a cold shoulder just because he wears a wedding band.

*Will he be faithful to you? In his fashion, yes, he will. There are a thousand answers to that question where Mercury is concerned. (Which obviously means "NO! RUN! )

She is quite clever since she comes back to each of these features not less than a para later to say that its rare or manageable or whatever and makes sure that she doesn't invite the wrath of any Gemini. I guess this goes on for every sign, but I read only Gemini.

Tis certainly well written and one of the reasons why I have lost a lot of friends to that damned book.

All said and done, I don't see why you need to waste time by making friends and getting to know people...all you gotta do is ask the people for their sun sign and then refer the book!
Now why didn't I think of that earlier?

Tuesday, 7 October 2008

Wanna work as a webmaster for Greenpeace?

Job Title: Web Projects Officer
Department: New Media
Reports to: New Media Manager
Location: Bangalore, India
Type: Full-Time
Salary: Rs. 26,989 per month
Grade: 5

Check out this link for more:
http://www.greenpeace.org/india/about/jobs/web-projects-officer

Saturday, 4 October 2008

Gandhi Jayanthi

A letter to dad.

Dear Parent,

Warm greetings to you (How cheesy?!)

This is to bring to your kind (??) notice that the performance of your son in the class during this semester is a concern for the blah blah blah (...crap...) ....it appears that your son has shortage of attendance.

Kindly make yourself available to meet the HOD of .......blah blah blah...more crap..(...some poop...).

With warm regards,
(yes that was quite warm thank you)

yours sincerely,
Dickhead of Town.

(And the sign looks like some 87 year old delusional dope locked up in a mental hospital attempting to write in Persian - " Weed in need ")


***
Thanks to Mahatma Gandhi and his Ahimsa principles, dad did not touch me all through Oct 2nd, after receiving this letter.
Well its a different story that he did more than touch me, after Midnight of Oct 2nd!
Now I really know what peace means. Gandhijiki Jai!

Sunday, 28 September 2008

Tuesday, 23 September 2008

Mum made coffee


I got college at 9:30 AM and thus I finally decide that its high time I am completely awake. I throw my double protection of snug rugs over so that some cold air will sting my senses. Pluto is outside, whining away at dad to take him out as usual. Dad is fighting with some vegetable vendor, as usual.
Mum is asking him to stop fighting , as usual.
So I guess I got lots of time, after all its only 9:01 AM....9???????

27 minutes later, miraculously enough I am in the hall, I bathed, fed (up), dressed, packed and everything else that needs to be done before going to coll, when I realise that I deserve to catch my breath. So I sit there with the newspaper in hand, sipping slowly on the mum-made-coffee one of the few pleasures in this world that comes without much of hard work.

It's so fine, its so fine...baby I'm lost in time.

Enlightenment strikes outta the blue, I realise I should have been in Java class 3 mins ago. Run Jack Run!

I cook up a master excuse or just barge and stare at our lecturer, who usually lets late comers in and the rest of the day goes smooth.

In the evening, my gang meets up for a good game of cricket, which hardly involves cricket and usually got more to do with laughs. When we are done with the game and standing outside the house for our daily dose of chit chat (at unusually high decibel levels- the street has had enough of us) mum decides to intervene and keep us quite, by , how else? but a cup of coffee each!

Most of us drink coffee, there are a few occasional oochy-koochies who drink only milk!

Little did I know how important these sequence of actions meant to the lot of them. I mean, pardon me for thinking that living life as me must be one of the most luckiest things in life ;)
I loved the way most of my days go by.

Yesterday I was getting these forwards that say: " If we ever loose contact, what things will remind you of me? " I replied to every person who sent me that forward and asked them to reply for the same.

The most interesting answer I got was:

Your jokes, stories, the way you make everyone joyous, the way you care for your friends
Last but not the least
Your mom made coffee :)

Tuesday, 16 September 2008

Was that for me???????

Every now and then, I get this question after a particular post,
"Hi, I read what you wrote, was that for me? "
That is just one of the most bold/direct/no-beating-around-the bush type questions. There are other types though,
"Who is that for?"
"Hey, you wrote?....no?...ok.....seriously, you didn't write?...I mean last night....??...you didn't?....ok" (Come on)
"I think you should write more often, especially what is on your mind"
"Ok, now don't mock me on Insanity Unlimited!!!"

I have just about had enough of such queries. NO GOD DAMN IT!!! IT WAS SO NOT FOR YOU!!! ALRIGHT????
(YOU WISH!)

About a year back, I used to write once each day. Sometimes even twice. Use the archives, it ain't so hard to figure out. Then I started getting questions. There were questions and then there were questions! They started making me think twice before I posted anything.
- oh maybe he will think that I was being mean to him/her
- what if he/she thinks this was for him/her?

Gradually, the frequency of the posts came down. It was like there was almost nothing to write.
Once thing is crystal clear -
A joke is always on someone. Whether you intended it or not. Looks like not many people realised it. And this time, it was clearly on me, for being rattled by the questions.

There are a few other things crystal clear -
1. If any words were meant for you, then it would most probably be addressed to you.
2. I will continue to write what I feel, cause I just don't care.


Shoot first, speak later.