Thursday, 10 January 2008

I AM NOT SUICIDAL

It's been really a while since I unbottled myself here. Its just been funny little that and funny little this lately.Lets set the record straight.I have not blogged because I had my exams.
My exams were one hell of a nightmare for me.I thought I was down and out this time.But thanks to my friends, I have done better than that at least.I realised a few things during the exams.
When your are going well, a lot of people seem to be nice and friendly, but when you are having a tough time, few come to your help.They are real friends.I found quite a few of those real friends during the last month.So many people showed support,lent me their books,notes etc,.I would take their names here, but they wont be comfortable, nor will the ones who miss out being mentioned.I don't need to say thanks to my own friends either.
The thing is, I hardly ask for help...I don't like taking favours.
I tried to put up my usual happy face all the time...but this time it was so hard.A lot of things went wrong, not just with the exams, but a lot of other things too.

I wrote this for my "about me" on a profile recently:

I have my own ups and downs like all of you...
I call spade a spade,I am not diplomatic, (diplomacy is just a nice word for the behaviour of cunning people),which will make you hate me somehow.
I don't like groupism...I fit anywhere, this again works against me.
I usually have a smile on my face and as most other things it works against me because I am either accused of smiling too much OR WHEN I DO GET SAD once in a while I am hated the most["oh he has lost it"]...even accused of being paranoid about my troubles.

beyond that, I don't know myself.





I am NOT moody, I just lost it for a while.Now I haven't unwound myself totally...but definitely I am not loosing it now.

Recently, after all my mad mad outbursts, I earned the 'suicidal' tag I hear.I am NOT SUICIDAL.The last thing I want anybody to say after I am gone is "Its sad he took his own life ( He wasn't much worth alive-but still :P)". My next statement may not have many believers but its a fact that I have saved a few people from committing suicide.
If I ever look like I have committed suicide, even if I have written a suicide note, you can blindly assume that I have been murdered and can suspect a conspiracy cause I ain't ever gonna take the escape route...I'll stay and fight.
I have a good reason to live.



And now for my last request, just because I don't tell you about my troubles it doesn't mean they don't exist...the least you can do is ignore me, than to call me paranoid!!!!PLEASE!


a departing thought for now...
In order to form an immaculate member of a flock of sheep one must, above all, be a sheep.



5 comments:

Anonymous said...

ok..........u are
STANZA-YES-MOHARAM.....
ok na..!??

Ice said...

?????
I don't know what the BULL that means!

Ice said...

hehe ok!!

rachana said...

happy to knw that u are'nt suicidal buddy...nd happier to knw that uv saved a few ppl from suicide(really? :D)..kudos!! nd i loved ur parting thought....but wat makes you say that diplomacy is just a nice word for the behaviour of cunning people(well i need to knw ur definition of 'being cunning' first)...ok i understand that thats ur understanding abt 'diplomacy'...but i believe that diplomacy is an art showcased by the smartest species(ok may or MAY NOT be cunning)...diplomacy is d language of the negotiators who most of the times are in pursuit of peace and mutual profit...well i guess iv found a new topic to scribble on my blog..hope il be doing that soon

Proneat said...

keep it UP