Wednesday, 23 July 2008

My Story 2050

No its not a spoof of Love Story 2050 and no, its not completely my story either. Its just one of those most appropriate and most certain assumptions that all(or most) of you will agree on. I read this message about 2050 which was quite funny and decided to come up with a set of those with my own perspective.

* NIE (Year 2050 - remember this part):
Students are now asked to sign a bond before being admitted for a course. The bond says

" I promise to follow all rules and regulations of our college. If not all, at least the one that says I must wear the uniform all the time as in - when I attend college, during placements, go to sleep, do the potty, go to office for work (After finishing my studies in NIE), on my death bed as well as six feet under

Signed so&so "

* Hindustan Times quotes the Registrar of VTU, this Wednesday: " From this year onwards there will be very strict corrections..."

Times of India headlines the following morning: Over 1500 Engineering Students Commit Suicide For Mysterious Reasons

* Salmaan Rushdie broke up with 20 year old girlfriend from Hawaii after 5 year relationship.

* Front Page News: " Team India WINS...no seriously!!"

* A sign found everywhere in NIE building:

- " NIE will be a globally acknowledged institution...blah blah blah"

* Arunbati Coy wins Booker price for the best Ebook of the year.

* Hrithik Roshan recieves award for his performance in "Koi hil gaya" a poor remake of yet another Hollywood movie, by...who else?...his father Rakesh Roshan. (Original scripts still have to be contented with a 'critical acclaim' tag.)


* Teachers in NIE still give below 15 average on all internal assessments irrespective of the subject or performance. Teachers in SJCE are considering ways to accommodate above 25 for the same.

* Now Two Indian players allowed per side in IPL according to new regulations announced yesterday.

* Shah Rukh still thinks he is better than Amitabh Bacchan.

* Exam Fees to V.T.U Exams reduced by 15 Rupees. Revaluation Fees doubled to Rs 7000/-

* Hindi movie "Do ankhein bara hazaar chummi" enters the guinness book of world records for the " Most kisses in a movie " with a little over twice the number of kisses in all the Hollywood movies put together.

* Coming back to VTU , on popular request...
V.T.U overtakes the Transport office from Philiphines and Bihari Government to lead in the all time " Most Corrupt organizations in the world ".
The Finance officer gives a speech on this momentous occasion:

" As you can see, on the latest rankings V.T.U has jumped two places from 3 to 1 to lead the list of Most Corrupt organizations in the world. But we say this is grossly unfair for us and a huge miscalculation on their part. According to our estimates and self assessment we are only the second most Corrupt organization in the world..we will apply for challenge reval"

* Freshers in degree colleges now beginning to look like they are straight out of L.K.G and they are pretty hard to differentiate between their outgoing seniors.

* Freshers all over still act like Brad Pitt/John Abraham and Jessica Alba/Mallika Sherawat. They still loose their fizz within the first week.

*Akshay Bacchan son of Abhishek Bacchan ready to enter the industry.

* Verdict on the Bofors case , 1993 Bombay Blast case and the Cauvery water dispute Case expected next week.

* Sensex Crashes 200 points (Yawn)

* Thomas Anderson retires after playing his first IPL match for Guwahati Stallions. Starts a chain of 7 star hotels in select countries.

* Shah Rukh Khan and Darsheel have a brawl in a local bar after an argument on who is the better actor in the industry.

* All India Bandh tomorrow to protest against the outsourcing of jobs to Mozambique.

* I have everything in life, except for a few things.

* India Super Power of the world! :)

10 comments:

kavya said...

coool!!

U could have added " Bhatta still preservin his DVDs n he is not givin them even to his grand children"

or

"rubs still says she doesn get scared!"

or

"Finally ppl accept that kavs is not a kid!" :P

anusha said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
anusha said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Anonymous said...

uncle...i suggest u bcome bejan daruwala...!!

rubbiya said...

prophecies with such precision..!!!bejan daruwala is no match to you....

Iceman said...

I made it as a superhero, but the animated version is yet to be released!

@Kavs - the third one wont happen!

Anonymous said...

i am just wondering with the present job scenario and vtu screwing up will nie exist after 15 years ??

Anonymous said...

correction dude..vtu is no 1 in corruption since 2000 itself....

deepti said...

its too good!!

Anonymous said...

10000 visits!!
wow dude..and you never even tol me bout ur blog........it seems you talk bout it with only close friends?
:( :(
hehe ........im kiddin...weder u tel me o nt i still found it n its awesome....u write really well............keep it up.....