Thursday, 8 January 2009

Single and what a bungle!

Putting an end to all the murmur related to the seemingly arrogant last post, I write now to tell my tale of woe.

Speaking about the last post, those who read that post should also read this one -
http://justguru.blogspot.com/2008/09/was-that-for-me.html
I hope the matter is resolved at that.


Now coming to my tale of woe-

How many ways can a person's love life suck?

1) You are single and you are desperate to have a girlfriend/boyfriend.

2)You already have a girlfriend or boyfriend but your parents are against it.

Maybe a weird 3rd kind where..

3)You have a special someone, your parents agree, but you are not sure about this person yourself and its ruining your sleep.


These are the only ways?

First of all, I don't belong to the first category.
That is, yes ofcourse I am single, but I am not much interested.
That means, the 3rd category is ruled out.
Coming to the second category, my parents are quite cool, they would never have a problem with the girl I bring home one fine day.

"Then whats your bloody problem dude? Get to the point quick!"

ok ok..Despite these well ironed facts of my insane life, it's sad to say my love life still sucks. I'll say that again..
MY LOVE LIFE SUCKS!

I belong to a new 4th way to have your love life suck. You need a bit of history before going into this article..

My mum and sometimes my dad couldn't stop asking me in my adolescent years if I liked any girl.

Pointing at a couple in the bus stand-
" When do I see you with a girl like that.."

Or just like that-
" Do you have feelings for any chick? It's ok tell me I'm ya mum, you can tell me anything "

NO NO NO!!

Either they doubted my manhood or just plainly doubted if I was really straight or not. Perhaps something fuelled by the hordes of articles on those sh!tty magazines:

Is your child gay?
An indept analysis on changing trends and how to spot the symptoms in your family

Ok, Jokes apart, my folks are just too bold and I don't know whether to appreciate that or roll on the floor and cry.

Conveniently for me and my overt sense of sometimes-unnecessary honesty, mum stopped asking me if I had feelings for someone- about two years ago. What a relief and what a timing.

(One of these days I am gonna come up with my list of crushes, but then if I do that, it will be one of the boldest posts ever.
)

Two years, I have lived with that coming up only in my "Stories to tell my friends" segment of my daily street talk show which follows the cricket matches. Few days back, I got the big bomb.

I was sitting and working(I like to use that word - working, especially when I am playing Counter Strike) on my laptop when mum takes a seat on my bed and calmly says..

" I know you have a girlfriend "

Almost falling off my chair I pulled out my headphones, dusted my ears. I thought I heard her say "I know you have a girlfriend" or maybe the mixture of sounds of gunfire and grenades mixed with mum's words made me hear things.

" You said something? "

" It's ok, quit playin, I know you got one "

"What?"

"Bring her home na, I wanna see her"

"MUM...WHAT!"

"Your girlfriend, bring her home, she is YOUR gf, she has gotta be nice"

"MOOOM"

"Ahh so shy...I can come with you to meet her if you want, I will even gift her something"

"Maaaaaaaaaaaaa!!! Can you stop it? Whats wrong with you? "

" I found out yesterday. I know I know I know"

Now, my mind started running, what is she talking about? Is she talking about Priya? Did someone tell her something? What can possibly make her think that?

"What are you talking about?"

"Why can't you just tell me, you can tell me"

"Maa you think I can have a girlfriend?"

"Why not?"

Sensing this was not gonna get over soon, I sarcastically tried to put an end to this insanity-

"Ok, I'll bring her in a few weeks"

"When?"

"Soon enough"

"Don't give your sarcasm to your own mother. I can see right through you..huh"

To cut the rest of the story short, she still doesnt believe in me(It's been 4-5 days).
The fact is, every second guy/gal who comes to visit me are involved (has a gf/bf) and to my luck, they are all very open about it with my mum.

They all accept that they have problems revealing this to their own parents but feel very free to talk about it with my folks!
Mr.DD who wanted my mum to help him pick out Gold Jewellery that he wanted to gift his girlfriend for Valentines day!

I saw that all this is coming from that!
" If they are hiding it from their parents, he is too! "
GREAT!

Now you see why my love life sucks?
-I am single
-My mum reminds me of my status 12 times a day
-I have to bear being called a liar
-And of course, you will laugh at my condition now!

What a bungle!

Why god why me???

20 comments:

sesnik said...

don worry one fine day priya wl come into ur life.........til then be happy after that god knws wat wil happen.......longer u wait better de outcome..............

Anonymous said...

i agree with nik ..u will find the gurl of ur dreams, someone who will love you unconditionally..until then chill if u dont get someone u love i think its fine because someday u find some one who would be meant for u trust me u will love them like hell ..

--c

Bharath said...

God has written a name on everyone's forehead but the name is a suspense ! Wait for the day when u discover tat name ..till then keep blogging :P

kavya srikanta said...

hmmm u surely vl find a gal!!.. rab ne bana di jodi!!.. u jus hv 2 wait 4 dat gal 2 ur lyf!!.. ;)

Ananth Nie said...

super moomz !! Lot of ppl say u need to wait n all for ur gal .. do u really need to wait ??or worry about it ? if it has to happen then it will happen !! Life is lot more than a gal/boy i suppose .. I am not an anti Feminist don mistake me !!

NegetivE said...

NOW DONT think abt this n all n get back to playing ur counter strike n btwn cool mom :D

Iceman said...

@Sesnik,Batta,Anon,Kantamma and Pro-feminist Dusa ;)

-Thnx!


Though I am moved by all your wishes for me for finding my girl..I must say that as I expected most of you thought I am crying about me being single..

NO, I am not bothered about finding my chick. I am bothered about the queries!

@-ve
I'll be toasting your butt on Counter Strike soon. So you play hard and practise too!

kavya c said...

More than your post i found d comments interesting with so many (mis)understandings happening :). .

Post is sooper humorous but i got a dejavu feeling while readin it.. probly i were to b mom askin d same thing to my son!uh wat an enlightment . Thanks for it :]

silk smitha and disco shanti said...

soooooooooper...ur best till date...same thing with me also...especially after getting into the corporate workd of the big city...every1 here asks me...and did u 4get to mention that evrytime u get some stupid mnssg/forward....folks ask which girl is it...!!!??? and by mistake if u have shave folks ask whom u gonna meet...!!!!! y u missed out..?? y y y..??

Iceman said...

@Kaavya C
I would kill to be present at the time & place you ask that to your son!


@Silk
yeah, message-call-chat, everything goes like "Who is she?...is she your classmate? How do you know her? No Im just asking...just like that"

Not to mention all the spying. They can search the entire house..they wont find a penny of info

anusha said...

firstly i'd wish that i could have had ur mum.secondly i'd wish i even had a boyfriend.
your condition is the worst case scenario dude!!! :D

rubs said...

strongly agree wid the above "ANANTH NIE"...

Pramukh said...

Dude do wtever ur mom has askd u to..otherwise I ll do it the nxt time I visit ur home :D

Ping said...

ROTFL, sorry I just found this really really funny! Esp the gay bit!!

perplexed said...

awww...thtz sad stuff!! I get what you are saying..not that i go through the same thing or anything(thank god!)well..i don't know what else to say so.. good luck dealing with it! :)

mallika said...

A humorous read.. wat a cool mom u have!! find a girl soon ;)

Anonymous said...

the best!
nevr seen ne1 write sooooo well
ur awesome.................
count me as a regular visitor to this place///

kavya said...

Sooper cool mom i must say! :)
I really pity ur condition. not cuz u don hav a girlfriend but cuz ur mom thinks so! :D

Julia Scissor said...

This is the other end of the spectrum. You have a clandestine relationship and are perpetually worried about your parents becoming suspicious. Or you aren't in a relationship but your parents' doubt you are.

But I must say you are one lucky guy to have a mom like that.

Iceman said...

cool mum uncool situation!!