Tuesday, 1 February 2011

Narnia and Gaddam resign


In the last week of December both Gaddam and Narnia (mentioned in The Office - Part I) put in their papers and left the office. So I am sorry to inform you that you won’t be hearing any funny incidents about them again. And you probably should skip this post if you haven't read the others, cause that might seriously harm my image. ;)

The Legend of Narnia

The first to go was Narnia. She had sent a mail with all the blah-blahs that you usually get to read on anybody's good bye post and in addition to all that she had specifically asked for some of us to meet her before she left and during this, we were supposed to give her one piece of advice so that she could "become a better person for the rest of her journey. You can be completely honest with me, I won’t feel bad.".

I read the last line again

"You can be completely honest with me, I won’t feel bad."

The good old voice in my head gave out a thunderous, but wonderous “Muhahahahaha”.

You see, this girl had a pretty bad attitude and we all hated it. Some of our work depended on her work and she never completed her work on time and was the least courteous soul I had seen on earth.

And I the kind of guy, If you give me the license to kill, I would solve the problem of over population. She had pretty much done something like that when she asked me also to give her a piece of advice. I wanted to tell her to tone down her arrogance. Trust me it sounds nicer than the way I planned it. In reality I was not keen on meeting her, but I really wanted to give her a piece of my mind. It seems very brutal for a last day chat, but hey, I’m Iceman.

She sent a mail later asking us to meet at 5:30PM in the café. Or at least, that’s what I thought. When I finally went to the café I noticed I was the only person she was meeting. Slightly taken aback, I sat down with my coffee and exchanged a few pleasantries and we lost track for about 7-8 minutes. Then she said “Before I go I want to tell you one little thing if you wouldn’t mind” I smiled and said “I wouldn’t mind if you slap me right now”. She went on “Haha..no, but seriously, all I wanted to say was that you are a bit too arrogant. Try to work on it, if you can’t at least hide it”. Somewhere in my heart, a fat man and little boy were going bonkers and I think there was a little smoke coming outta my ears. She continued “If you have anything to say, something similar, you can.”. So I put down my coffee and replied as cold as possible, “Yes, in fact I had something similar in mind, but I think you are getting late to go home”.

Laughing she got up “See this is what I love about you, it’s my last day and you don’t mind asking me to go” and gave me the usual hug and the peck on the cheek and as she turned to pick up her bag my curiosity got the better of me and  I asked “But really? I was arrogant with you? When?” I personally put up my best professional behavior at work, so even though its common for people to tell me that I’m rude, miserable, sarcastic, brutal all the time, it was definitely a surprise to get it from a colleague. She said “Haan, remember the very first day we met? I was so friendly with you, I’m usually never like that with people at office and you refused to even give me your name. I had to find out from my neighbour. Seriously, what was your problem? I felt so insulted that day.”

Again, If you had read the July post in which Narnia was mentioned, you would understand what she just said.

I thought for a moment if it was better to explain to her but then again, I felt too lazy to do it, so I just heaved a big sigh and said “aah..never mind!”

I am very choosy lately about who I add on social networks what with all my offensive status messages, rude comments and all, so I avoid adding my colleagues. This means this is how our last meeting will end - Interesting and Hellishly Ironical.

--
God Damn Gaddam

And of course, our latest celebrity on this page, Gaddam also resigned and he too sent an emotionally charged email and all the blah blah blah. Fortunately he did not ask me to meet him privately too. But we did meet at a team mates cubicles. At the moment he was all set with his backpack and lunch box ready to walk out of those doors one final time after shaking hands with all of us of course. A few more people assembled when they saw him bidding good byes. I noticed that all the people present there were the same people who were in that forgettable meeting I have told you about. So when he finally came to shake hands with me, all boys and girls started sniggering at the awkwardness that seemed to be inevitable soon.

I thought I would entertain them with the legend one last time and asked Gaddam loudly, but as if I was whispering it to him

“So Gaddam, do you want me to finger you one last time?”.

Roars of laughter followed as we expected a shy response from him but Gaddam smiled and replied

“We are not colleagues anymore, so you can come and finger me any day you want!”

followed by an even louder  roar of laughter, good enough to grab the attention of the entire floor. And it’s a pretty big floor.

The team mates had mocked us every single day after that meeting and yet he never really understood the real meaning of what he had said!

9 comments:

anusha said...

She seriously hugged you and gave you a peck on the cheek ?? :P

Iceman said...

Such a big post and thats all you are worried about? You seem to be stuck in the Madhubala era. :D

anusha said...

Remember, i have team mates who are doppelgangers. I dunno about the corporate etiquette of greeting colleagues :D

anusha said...

Remember, i have team mates who are doppelgangers. I dunno about the corporate etiquette of greeting colleagues :D

anusha said...

Remember, i have team mates who are doppelgangers. I dunno about the corporate etiquette of greeting colleagues :D

Iceman said...

Kindly elaborate the connection between Doppelgangers and etiquette.

Besides, yes, any type of physical contact should be avoided as far as corporate etiquette is concerned. Lekin, IT ka hain yeh jalwa ;)

anusha said...

My teammates barely come to office. Its been months since i even saw my entire team together. Since my interactions with my team mates are devoid of physical contact, i would be highly unaware of the corporate etiquette of greeting colleagues.

And as to the rest of the post...
Narnia mightve been dumb while she was at office, but when it was her last chance to leave a mark, she clearly did a 'Chance pe dance' :P
Unfortunately, she picked you to be her audience, or rather unwittingly, you volunteered to be her audience.

As for Gaddam, i sincerely hope he enlightens himself what the 'finger' really means. If that happens, whenever it happens, i bet Gaddam wont have fond memories of you :P

Pritham said...

u ended up getting adviced instead of giving advice..Rofl

Iceman said...

Yeah...she flopped my show :( :D