Thursday, 28 February 2008

Ahhh, normalcy restored

It's that time of the year again that we go through twice where I come and cry about my results each time on my blog.Unfortunately for fellow bloggers and readers there has not been one instance where I was able to brag about my results and this time it ain't much of a shiner either.

There is a limit to everything innit?well, I 'spose there is cause my life has dented my lips from smile-to-straight face-sad-sadder-sadder-sadder... and so on, so many times that it has reached its limits.Guess what? It's come back to where it started from, that is the good old smile.There is absolutely nothing that can make me frown anymore.Yipee.

Recently too many things seemed to be going nice for me, it didn't feel normal anymore.Something Gosta Gosta Give!OOPS!

Saturn[Shani kaata A.K.A VTU] got closer to the earth and something was on the cards.we were all invited to the party by VTU and what a party, did the VTU rock our lives apart or what?.The hangover still ain't gone.Yeah baby!

A self-assessment said that this was my best performance so far, but this was a party fulla surprises.The party-throwers seemed to out-perform me.
May all the evaluators rot in wait that ain't enuff, let them ROT IN VTU!!!

Thursday, 21 February 2008

Please waste some time!

It's amazing how we break our heads to find ways to waste time during the classes throughout the semester and still keep away from homes where as during the exams its totally opposite.Amazing because we go through that process twice a year and we never learn.

Everytime there is a class going on we just want the teacher to come late to the class , yeah 10 minutes would be appropriate and then we want them to leave another 10 minutes early.In between of course a good 5 minutes is wasted surely while taking attendance.So ideally we have to go through 35 minutes of lecture...which rarely is the occasion.
OK! Then what do we do? - C R ELECTIONS!!Yippee!
So much trouble to waste one class?well, we will take what we can snatch, right? right!

So we finally manage to get two guys to stand for the "all important" C R Elections , both of whom look like oversized action figures. The duration of both their speeches is proportional to their respective heights.Damn them.We don't give a rat's butt of their speeches, but time is of essence, you need to waste it you morons!Right now it seems that that is their sole purpose on earth.

We take our time in "choosing our leader" after all its no easy decision.After careful examination and analysis of the candidates, we take a really tough decision: to almost unanimously elect one guy.
But the turning point of the day belongs to the fact that a person who wasn't a candidate landed herself a neat 3 votes.

Well now for the Thank you speech and it lasts 2 minutes long which if it wasn't for all the laughing and giggling and 'tee-hees' by our newly elected CR, would have actually lasted 5 seconds.He seems to be learning fast!

*Its only a few hours until he realises that "Class rep" is just a fancy word for a "Scape goat" and the poor bloke is running around in order to bring to effect a celebratory all day mass bunk of the classes just so that he doesn't have to listen to the " Hey,you are useless "
"What do you think we elected you for? "
" Hey move your butt and get those super-nerds to bunk"
"COME ON!! BE A MAN.I KNOW IT'S HARD, BUT TRY!!" and et al. *

OnE dAy WaStEd nOw WhAt?
well there is always the re-elections, blue-books / (dirty) yellow books or what-ever-you-call-em books , the PC elections, The presidential elections...all of which are not just that effective or not effective at all.

As for the teacher, she ensured for our own sake that the remaining 10 minutes of the class was well wasted by arranging for some "activity" which most people took surprisingly seriously and we even got to witness the POWERPUFF girls!

One hour well wasted...Mission accomplished!

Saturday, 16 February 2008

Where is Sri Nagaraj?

After reluctantly agreeing to watch a 4 hour movie of "Jodha Akbar" (Partly because of the forcing and crying and threatening and.... and partly because I am an Aishwarya fan) I find myself with the entire gang criss crossing the streets that seem narrower than the width of my toilet and flooded with characters of people to kids to little chicken(Yeh hamara mulkh hain), whose sole purpose in life seemed to be get in the way of every vehicle on the road, to find the theatre I never thought I would ever visit in my life- Sri Nagaraj.The quest for Sri Nagaraj itself was an eventful one. First the mighty Pramukh had used the number provided by none other than the ever-so-reliable Nikhil to call up the theatre and confirm the dates...and then we had to find out where to go actually, in order to make it on time for the '5 O clock' show!Someone said that it was located in the City ( Oh really?wow! ) , a second person said it was near Central Library.A third person added that it was somewhere in Vijayanagar while my mum thought it was in S Layout.We now had the North-South-East-West but best of all was the person who thought that there was no such theatre in Mysore.
After much discussion and repeatedly taking directions from people we reached the place to find out that the show was actually at 5:45 and not 5.The "ever so reliable" Nikhil had given us the number to Thibbadevi instead.We had arrived at 4 to make it there "early" and "get the tickets before anyone else". .|.. ..|.

The magnitude of the movie's fan following hit us when we saw the line.It seemed miles long.(Duh! It was a saturday and the second day).People's eyes were red and eyelids heavy.All of them had the 'just gimme the ticket and I am ready to pass out' look.Some kids looked like they had spent their childhoods here in the line.They seemed ready to share with each other the fond memories about the time they joined the line.We joined the line too ,only to repeatedly pick up fights with all the @$$#()|3$ who choose to get in between the line[This is too much? ;) Gunah Kubool]. I never thought going for a movie would be anything but adventurous.Thankfully all the buttons on my shirt are intact.Kya kare janaab? Sab Allah marzi.
Everyone in the line for a change seemed to be amazingly tolerant of my imitation of the same actor we had come to watch.There were some die hard fans of Hrithik Roshan there...including our very own Rohit and I am just glad none of them teamed up to make Guru Manchurian as a Jodha Akbar special.
After waiting for 45 minutes the line that never moved ,we were kindly told to "Go to hell" because the tickets were sold out.
Inshaa Allah.
I bid my khudha-hafees to the theatre.

That's when we decided to take off to Karanji Lake hoping to catch the sight of a few snakes, crocs and other cold blooded animals, only to find too many hot blooded animals who seemed to be hell bent on extending their families at the lake itself.GOOD LORD!!!I am not going to that place again!I rather watch desperate housewives.
And then of course the usual betta which is the answer to every young Mysorean's boredom.

Monday, 11 February 2008

Love at first sight?

I had just come back home from a really tiring game of cricket.I had just bowled 8 overs that evening and I was sweating buckets of sweat from head to toe. As I approached the gate to my home I stopped to speak to some of my neighbours. The usual mockery, teases and taunts, what else? As I was laughing I got this weird feeling I was being watched. I looked around. There was absolutely nobody watching me, except of course the people I was talking to. Barely 2 minutes later, I felt it again. This time I looked further and lo, across the street , a cute chick is sitting on a chair in her portico and staring at me from the distance. I looked behind me to see what I was missing on...over me, around me...well, there was only me. She was staring right at me. WOW.  Her head is resting on her hands and her long black hair is covering her hand.B-E-A-utiful!!

But, why was she staring at me? Maybe she was lost in her thoughts or something. Oh well, I decided to go and freshen up. I go in wash my face and neck, change my clothes, Tidy up the room. All this took about 20 minutes roughly and then there was a power cut, so I stepped out onto my own portico because there was still some light outside, I could at least talk to the neighbours until the power returned. As I begin to talk, I recalled the cute chick and try to find her...there is she is. Right where I saw her last and WOW she is still watching me. I strained my eyes to see if it was really me she was staring at. It definitely seemed so. It was getting dark and my curiosity was rising. What did she see in a beast like me? People who have known me for years hate to associate with was she so fast? what...?when...? where...?

Suddenly the power was restored and the bright light pierced all our eyes.When our pupils became accustomed to the 100W bulbs in our porticoes and the street lights my vision straight away went towards the damsel. She was still there...on the same chair and now that her portico was also lit up by bulbs, there was no doubt she was staring at me. Listen to that guys, she was staring at ME...for nearly an hour now. She hadn't moved. Only once in a while when her silly cousins came out and said something to her, she moved her neck towards him and made swift moments with her right hand, while the left still supported her head, or when she had to reply to some query from inside the house. So that negated the possibility that she was dead.

Again all the questions started swimming in my head. Is this love at first sight? Is this why they say love is blind? After all she was staring at a mirror cracking material for so long...maybe love is blind after all innit?

I began to think...this is it...the moment....the cute chick...she was interested in me...she must have observed me over the days, I was a fool to have let her cute face slip from my notice. Doesn't matter. It's never too late. We can work things out now. I will explain to her that I had never looked across the street. She will understand.

It was close to 2 hours now, she was smiling.WOW...cutie smiling at me? wonder of wonders. I wanted to see how long this would go on. How long? My legs are getting tired now. I think thoughts like
"Why the blimey did she hafta stare at me?" crossed my head at break-neck speed a couple of times. I am still wondering all sorts of things about our future and all the planning I had to do, all the mature decisions I had to take, all the things I would have to consult her about...

The girl got up, took her hand off her ears and revealed a cellphone in it. She moved her fingers and obviously cut the call. Now she rotated her left wrist and neck to relieve herself of all the niggle caused by the 2 hour phone call. Stretched thoroughly and shouted something like "Hoon bande atthe" (Yeah aunt, I'm coming ) and walked back into the house.

Me? I just had my dinner and went to bed.

[Dated: Sometime about 4 years ago]

Sunday, 10 February 2008

Who is Iceman??

Hi, how are you today?

Never been better, thank you

No messing around, Who is Iceman?

Oh he is just this stupid funny guy who was/is in my class/college/school/lives near my home.In short he is a total loser

Why is he a loser?

Oh, he just has no future mann! He is not serious about life or for that matter - anything.

Are you his friend? his dreams.

I have seen you speak quite a bit to him before

You know the guy is a fool, he has some really silly notions and swears by it.I just sometimes humour him.

So you gave an I.Q test to all you friends in the beginning?

F**K's none of your business.

And why is he a fool?

One look at him, even you will agree.

Is that all you do...humour him?

Well he is a joker you know...he is useful around

So you DO like having him around?

Ahhh no, he is a pervert , he might take too much credit. I am like - ' Dude!Crack your joke and get on your way ok? ' and he is like " Oh I am so funny,oh I am so funny " He never leaves!!!

Why don't you ask him to leave?

Oh how should I? why should I? I have my manners ok?Besides the other guys don't seem to mind!huh!

He considers you a friend, you know that?

I don't give a F**K what he considers me...c'mon, just because I spoke to him most of the time and also enjoyed his company sometimes it doesn't mean he can totally considered me a friend.
I am like " wohohohoooow , hold your horses buddy, where did that come from? "
The loser totally got into my head!!huh...damn him!!

He got into your head?

Ummm, did I say that? sorry lemme rephrase that...he got on top of my head!

Thank you for having seedi baat with us here...I am sure Iceman is a loser.The sooner he finds out, the better. It was wonderful having you here.Have a good day.

Thnx for having me here, the pleasure was all mine.I totally enjoyed.

Monday, 4 February 2008


I have an almost perfect count of the number of visitors on my blog and I pride myself over it, though I don't pride myself over the numbers themselves! You will see why-

I had been using google adsense to count the number of hits on my blog since I was told it was quite reliable.I signed up on July 14th I guess...and the count is from July 15th!
6th December 2007 the counter touched 3000 hits.
I just gave the issue more air than anything because I had nothing to boast about in my life ;P
Later I found out that google was not so reliable as was touted.So I used a different web counter to measure the hits.On a single day it showed 50000+ hits...yeah...right!!
So I went back to google...until I found a really reliable counter.Which you now see as burning numbers on the right column of your screen. :)

From the first blog 9th Feb 2007 to July 14th, I take the liberty to consider an additional 100 visitors..and maybe 200 more considering the lack of reliability of the google thing. Anyway the new web counter has been picked up from the exact number where I left google and not the additional 300 I just told you about.

All said and done...I don't really give a damn about the hits on my blog, because in the first place, I blog anonymously, then I make sure I don't give the link to too many people I know.So caring about the hits doesn't seem to make sense!


Sunday, 3 February 2008

No Mum, I'm just dyslexic

Tare zameen par is a great movie...though I am not dyslexic at all, the movie did remind me of my childhood.I used to be always lost in my world like that kid and the comparision ends there.

But there is a catch to this great movie.Won't all the kids in the nation who watch this movie now just start to blame their laziness on 'Di-di-di-dislecksia' ?? India is a competitive country now, no doubt.Every household is hellbent on producing scoring machines, but for that small percentage of children who ought to study for the sake of good education and yet don't manage a decent score will now just blame it on this mental condition even though they ARE infact lazy, not mention the actual successful ones which decide to convert into their lazy world counterparts.

Revolutionary movie!!!Yeah revolutionary all right! Thanks to TZP the traditional " Ma'am the dog ate my homework" lines will be replaced by the brand new " Ma'am, I'm dyslexic ".

And Mr.Khan do you really expect us to believe you made the movie only for parents?After all India is the most youthful nation in the world, with a huge percentage of the population in between 12-25 age group!I'm sure you did your math before making your directorial venture.
Do you expect us to believe that, especially after you asked us to drink coke [which has a ph<3 just as much as a toilet cleaner] just so that you can laugh all the way to the bank , when you really don't drink that god-damned drink yourself??

After all the brickbats...I would still like to say, TZP is awesome...but its a strict NO-NO for kids.It should get an "Adults only" rating even though its artistically shot!

Friday, 1 February 2008

Ground Rules

I have decided to set down some ground rules for myself to follow in life, in order to be a much more refined here goes:

1 Not to forget the spelling of individual again

2 Not to bother readers with silly blogs

3 Never hurt animals

4 Never hurt women and Children

5 Never to worry about what I will blog next and instead think of actually important things

6 Help protect the environment

7 Study hard from now on

8 Never utter a swear word again

9 Follow ground rules 1-8

10 Never follow ground rule number 9


Let's play Sudoku!!!