Thursday, 30 April 2009

I want I want I want


Forgiveness. Because I'm sorry - I have learnt my lesson.


Flavoured Toothpaste

Urdu daily


A Walk to remember ("Fresh air")

A bank account


A dentist

An urdu channel

A dressing table

A trek to the Western Ghats ("Fresh air")


Day after:

Four wives

A suite

A big screen TV with TataSky

All the things that make me high

And after you have met all my demands, you can prosecute me for the murder of 116 innocent people, thank you!


Sure Kasab, you want fries with that?

Monday, 27 April 2009

Raka International On drive spy

Recently, I found this new thing infecting the systems coming mainly from browsing centres etc,. called Raka International On drive spy.

Now, I am not sure what this thing is. I wouldn't wanna jump to conclusions saying that it's a virus or a trojan. Even the latest updated antivirus / antispywares on my system didn't recognise the thing. Even the firewall didn't report anything suspicious.

But I have enough reasons to doubt the thing-
1)It comes in uninvited - In other words , Infects!
2)More importantly, it calls itself "SPY"
3)Processes spring up unwanted and unwarranted

The only problem I have faced so far by this thing is that it hogs system capacity when it starts.
God knows what other damage it has done to my system. Since I found out a way to remove this thing, or so I think, I will list out the simple steps here.

How to remove Raka International On drive spy?

The steps are listed out in detail for novices, experts and "experts" please bear with it.
If you can't see the whole picture - Click on it to view it properly!

Step 1 - Remove raka open from startup process -

1. Go to start menu
2. Run
3. Type "msconfig" and press enter
4. Under Startup tab uncheck the option that says __rakopen.exe or something like that
(Actually I forgot what the exact name was, but it should be pretty obvious ;)
5. Don't click on 'ok' or 'apply' yet. Go to next step.

Step 2 - Remove Raka open from startup menu
1. Again, I don't remove the exact name and again it should be obvious.
2. Go to Start>All programs>Startup
3. Right click on '__rakopen.exe' or anything which seems to be Raka
4. Select delete
5. Now click on Apply in the startup window in step 1
6. Restart the system.

They call it version 1.0.6
In case it is a virus/trojan and they do come back with another version, they will make it much harder to remove the virus. I expect the antiviruses to detect and delete them by then!

This method must work for you. If it does or even if it doesn't, please tell me about it here in the form of a comment! Also tell me if you figure out what the exact names were so that I can make this description a little more accurate. Hope it helps a few people at least!

Friday, 17 April 2009

Savage Seminar

Well, if you all thought Perplexed was the limit. Wait till you hear my story!

First of all, our dumb dept made us give two seminars. Both on the same topic. First one just asks us to give a presentation. Second one has a presentation, a 20ish page report on it and 6 page technical paper for IEEE.

For no good reason, a brief background on how the idea of an additional IEEE paper was conceived:

Somewhere in the dark corners of the darkest offices in my college, two voices are deep in discussion -

"Hey, think of something which can be a pain in the ass for our students "

"Madam, how about an IEEE paper?

"I like your style"

"I am your humble follower your sadness"

"You are making me all wet with tears *sniff*. Anyway,my dear short psycho , lets go screw some students"


*Hugs & Kisses*
People who know me know that I am always on Damage-control mode. I have all the time in the world and somehow, it ain't enough!

First seminar:

*One hour to go for my first seminar
*My presentation ain't ready
*I dunno what my topic is (holo.. something)
*There is no power
*The central UPS system is down
*The notebook battery is dead

And I am busy calling P, Rohit, Nush,Kavs and anyone and everyone asking them if they have power and if I could go over and do it there.

As I am calling, the power returns barely 30 minutes before the seminar time and miraculously I am at the laboratory on time!
My dumb presentation conjured over 20 minutes but well hidden by my pretence of hard work and solid knowledge goes well and I suddenly feel like a king.

Second Seminar:

I am now feeling invincible. Nobody can beat me. I could pull the first one off in 20 minutes, I can kick some serious ass if I work for 3 days for the second one. Right?

I spend my days rehearsing loser lines like "Second seminar..I'm coming to get YOU!" and the like in my mind. I say that so many times that I loose track of days and finally BANG! It's 15th of April.

Hey what happens on 15th of April? My birthday? it my friends birthday? nooo..wait TODAY IS MY SEMINAR!!

Where the hell is my 20 page report, 6page tech paper and new presentation on my topic of Holo.. something?

I tell myself-
Relax. You can do this. You are the master of damage. I mean damage control. You can do it. Just sit.

There is nobody at home, so I don't get any coffee. I hurry pluto around the Neighbourhood almost forcing him to do his thing and I get back on my table and guess what? There is no power!

No power. No caffiene in my blood. No time. I wrote down on my things to do list "Stop being a loser" and begin to work, praying that the backup can last.

I start going tippy tippy tap tap on the keyboard for 4 straight hours punctuated by visitors, some bananas, 2 pieces of bread, water and a bath. And my report is done. Now the Presentation. It takes another 10 minutes because I just removed a few slides and added a few new ones to the old pathetic??

The show-off is at 4:45 and I don't have much time left for that. I work on the paper for another half an hour and get ready to leave.

Now I must get everything right. First of all uniform.(Yes, my great college has one). Most of us don't wear it most of the times, but the nerds do.
Last time every single person had worn the uniform for the seminar, so I decided not to take chances this time either. After all, I had a pathetic set of papers to submit, I might as well not piss them off before hand.

Right. Now where is the uniform. OMG...WHERE IS THE dAMNED UNIFORM??? I hadn't seen them in months. I had not a clue where I had put them.
*The almirah ? - NO!
*The clothesline? - NO!
*The other room? - NO!

Where the hell is it??????

Ahh is that it? Yes. Alas, under the pile of rubbish it lay, the material of the uniform! Great put it on..put it onnnn!!
Done. Files - into pen drive. ok. done. what else? Nothing.

All set lets go.

While leaving I get the feeling, I have forgotten something. What is it? Well, no time. Go!

On the way I take out my cell and look at the time.

It's 5 fuckin twenty!

WHAT? I was supposed to be there half an hour ago! It's ok relax..relax, we will explain, you just relax.

I reach the college I climb up the stairs and suddenly remember that I am supposed to take the print out. I rush to a shop he says his printer aint working. He speed away to another shop and push my pendrive into a system there. Its not working.
I had brought a back up (haha!) I put that in, his USB port breaks. I put it in another one and finally I am taking print outs! Phew.

I am sure I forgot something...

While the 31 sheets of paper are getting printed, a cutie keeps giving me glances and I am thinking, good..glances are good, slows your heart rate. Glance back at her!

Soon- Im done. Lets go. I run up the stairs again, saying hello to a couple of people, and finally I am the lab doors. I slowly walk in, everyone turn towards me, some are laughing, the lecturers are hell serious and I think to myself

"Oh shit, get ready for your whoopin of ya lifetime..."

and just as fast as the anticipation had built, the lecturers turned their faces away, without a word or reaction. I go completely blank at this, but my legs somehow carry me over to an empty stool and settle me down. As I come to, Dee sitting next to me says

"Why did you wear uniform? It's wednesday"

And I looked around shocked, I am the only guy wearing an uniform in that lab.
I feel like running away and jumping off the top of the building.

Anyway, after some consolation, I pull a blanket over the guides eyes and make them believe I worked hard on my seminar, because my topic is more physics(my fav sub) and chemistry than software and electronics, which actually means, they just don't get it do they? Especially when I just lie to them about the things I don't know!

After coming out of this hectic day, I wonder.


You know what the worst part is? I still haven't found out what I had forgot..I am just wishing it is not important!

Sunday, 12 April 2009


Now, this is completely new to me! My apologies to Miss Ping for overly delayed post.

I realised I am so set apart from the bloggers community(I'm not a blogger) when I started noticing this tag thing going on among bloggers and no matter how many times I noticed it, I couldn't understand it. I couldn't continue being ignorant when I finally got 'tagged' myself by Ping(Someone's stuff whom I ACTUALLY love to read-Interesting cause I don't like reading...Anything!). Thnx for that!

Now about the tag, the rule goes that I have to upload the 6th picture in my 6th folder and write a story about it and then ofcourse tag other people!

I dunno how you people organise your photos, but I have just folders and folders and to get to one picture, you may have to go through many folders!

Fortunately in my 6th folder there are two pictures of the same subject. So I am uploading one of them to talk about it!


Now, I know it doesn't sound very insane when I say that gardening is one of my hobbies. Well, I try!

Anyway, My mum told me about her childhood dream to have a lotus pond at home. So I made a pond for her and gradually my collection of lotus plants grew.

One such lotus plant is the White lotus which blooms only at night. The plant is not too hard to maintain and propogate. But if the flower blooms, then you can consider yourself REALLY lucky.

The lotus in my pond had bloomed for 3 years in a row and it had become so common that we stopped feeling anything special about it!

To make a long and boring story, short and boring, it stopped blooming and now after 1 full year, we had a white lotus in full bloom back in our household.


No matter what the story sounds like, I know all of you guys, even the insensitive ones, can't help admiring the beauty of that flower in that picture. So remember, it was in my garden!

Though it didnt bloom after that, I am contented. It might after a brief break. Or so I hope.


And I gotta tag some people lemme see, in alphabetical order -
[people whose blogs have been in my knowledge for a while and also are regular at blogging]

Anna Bond
Anup (Infinity and beyond)
Shilpa the great

Hoping atleast one of you will pick this up! ;)
A million thnx to Ping again.

Wednesday, 8 April 2009

One for the turtles

Mr.Tata, I'm your fan, but...
If you have read the news, the turtles did come back to nest. But that doesn't mean the greens are crying wolf. The turtles will gradually begin to avoid the beach. Why will Greenpeace launch its most expensive campaign ever if it doesn't even hold water?

Thursday, 2 April 2009

List of people who "fooled" me!

Now, before I announce the result I would like to tell you. I know you all sucked big time in your efforts to try and fool me. Even the ones who fall into the list. But please don't loose heart. Try and try till you succeed(Next year)!

Anyway, this is a list only because I promised. But none of these "tricks" qualify as a ..well..."trick"!

Here they are - In chronological order:

- Pradeep a.k.a Podhe

- Kavs

- Koli

Please don't make me explain how they fooled me, cause then the fools will really be them!

But the best trick was from my friend "Mr.Houdini" - One of my closest pals!

This guy has been very close to me. I have followed him like a lost puppy from high school to PU to Degree course. And I can't even count the number of things he has helped me with and so many times! I dunno how I would have managed most of the things without him.

Ten years (Wow! I calculated that just now, I can't believe it). It was not just ten years of 'knowing him'. We were actually close friends all through the ten years. If I felt like meeting him, it took me a 2 minute ride to do so - any day - FOR A DECADE!!!

I wake up in the morning on the fools day to find the message from him:

I'll be leaving the city tomorrow.. wil work in Chennai for a keep in touch..Good night! Shine on \m/

The Houdini hadn't kept in touch with me for about the last 3 months. I had left him a lot of messages and offliners asking him to get in touch with me the moment he got free from his hectic job. But apparently he hadn't been able to. The message clearly shocked me and woke me up completely.

I tried calling him immediately, but he was not picking up the phone.

A bit frustrated everything, I looked at his message again - Going away for a year!
I didn't know where the hell I was gonna be a year later. The future is completely uncertain like it always was. A lot of things suddenly rushing into my head making me kinda numb to a lot of things and I noticed his message sent time-


Ahhhh that filthy moron!! So I just text him " This is an April fools joke :) "

I spend the rest of the day with people who 'tried' and some 'succeeded' in fooling me. Finally in the evening when I least expected, Mr.Houdini calls me and this is how the conversation went.

Me(As soon as I picked up):
-I called you, you didn't pick up. You didn't reply either
H " Yeah, I saw that now. I was busy"

-Busy with what?

H "I'm really going. I am in the train now"

-Are you serious?

H "Yeah we all got transferred there.."

-I haven't heard from you for days

H "I was busy. I am staying in the same city and haven't even gone home properly"

-How often will you get online?

H "My net at home was disconnected. Nobody uses it any more. And I won't be coming online there either"

-I hadn't expected this, you know I am unsure where I will be after a year

H "Hmmm"


Some formalities and 'Keep in touch' kinda words later the call is cut.

And I'll cut this write up before it starts to sound like the season finale of FRIENDS

"We want the last ten years back"

"So do we! SO DO WE!"


Wednesday, 1 April 2009

Movie at Pradeeps'

Pradeep's room has a very special place in the heart of my gang. Simply because it is our very own mini theatre. You know, when you look back at goner times, it is the small finer things that make you miss the past more than the bigger more seemingly important things. So before I feel like it's totally gone and can't get it back at all, I wanna write about it.

Pradeep's penthouse

Before you get nasty ideas, we are still talking about Pradeep's room. And don't you dare go visiting the penthouse website or else you will loose interest in this story!

Here is Pradeep's (a.k.a Podhe's ) picture -> Click here (since the title of the blog has his name I figured, you people can see him as well - This is a pic from the Kudremukh snaps remember them?)

For those severely unfortunate people who haven't had the pleasure of watching a movie in his room or simply haven't see it (yet) lemme give you a picture!

Pradeep's room, measures roughly 12x6 feet.(You see we are sort of the God of small things)

It has the following stuff

1 Computer with 17" Screen and pretty good speakers.

1 bed - Which ALWAYS slides over to the front when we are sitting on it and leaning against the wall.

2 Tables - One at the corner holds his book and second one on which his desktop rests in peace. The desktop is the heart of our entertainment mechanism. That's one machine I will definitely miss.

2 Chairs - out of which one chair is badly broken. Try placing your ass on that one and we will all be enjoying your freak show rather than the movie.

umm...Thats it!

Now lemme see , there are usually 7 of us who suddenly mob his place out of the blue when Pradeep is least expecting it.

Well it's usually like he is sleeping and suddenly we show up

"Pradeeeep...tak tak the door"

Pradeep (hereon with adressed as Podhe) gets up and


*Opens the door*

There are, say, 2/3 of us shouting "Movie!Movie!Movie!" as he opens the door. He opens the door and we run in so fast and so madly that Podhe falls backwards onto the floor and has footmarks all over his body and face when we are done getting in.

When he finnally dusts himself and gets in, he turns on his desktop and tries to start some video usually something to do with greatest cricket catches in history or best of Shane Warne and stuff like that. As much as things like that just hypnotize me into watching them, I(we) start messaging vigourously to call the rest of the madhouse to place.

The movie:

Our choice of movies is pretty simply all guy movies. NO NOT PORNO you miserable jerks! It's more like runaway bots, psycho killers, save the world kind of movies that boys like to watch. If you think a bunch of boys like us get together to watch those kinda movies that your girlfriend has to force you to watch or that you will prefer when you are beyond 85 and devoid of all that testosterone THEN YOU ARE IN BIG MISUNDERSTANDING MISTER! - Just so you know. We cool right?

Selecting the movie to watch is our biggest challenge.

Podhe is shouting out weird Tamil and Telugu names which makes absolutely no sense to us.
No offense, but we have kind of a thing for Tamil and Telugu movies..umm..I dunno how to put it...its like we f*cking hate them!

You know it's normal for animals to attack and kill things that they don't understand. It just shows we still have our animal instincts intact.

'Thayan Kondha Veeran'
'Yemme iduttha Thoppai'
'Ni Thaatha na ajjiya boyfriend'
'Adjust pannitai'
'Naanu romba hot iraka'
'Poda thiruda -yenna favourite LKG rhyme'

Somebody is saying something - suddenly they fighting - next they are kissing - and then all of a sudden people are flying all over the place - which we have come to realise is a fight scene.

Subtitles don't really help that much. With subtitles its more like -
" Hey! I have a great idea to spend the saturday..why don't we watch the Subtitles of Bommarillu? "

"Wow dude! Great idea - you da koolest! "

Anywaaaaay...we are throwing old newspapers at Podhe for suggesting the bad movies!

It's usually like, I am the fool who resisted watching all the good movies so that we can watch it together.
And Rohit is the fool who has watched ALL OF THEM!

I am shouting - That one...THAAAT ONE...
He goes - Watched it....WAAATCHED ITTTT

P in the middle is shouting - Boring Boring

Finally all the guys settle for a majority while Podhe is still shouting
"Hey I have watched this one maaaan....I have watched it...I don wanna watch iitttt!!!! "

We are replying "Who asked youuuuu who asked youuuuu??? "
or we just turn deaf ears.

For our example - Deathrace!

Finally the picture starts:
1)We throw Pradeep (Theatre owner) on the floor who is still shouting that he doesn't want to watch that movie in HIS room on HIS computer.
2)4 of us settle on the bed (I always get my place on it)
3)while the other two manage to sit on the chairs.
Yes - one poor fella always sits on the broken chair. Somehow!
4)Ofcourse every 10 minutes, all of us sitting on the bed have to get up and push the bed back to the wall, because as I said earlier, it keeps sliding away to the front.
Don't even get me started on the curses we throw at Podhe for having such furniture which are a disgrace to wood!

Anyway, the movie -
Bliss! It's like, Y'know like...kinda like, gonna, sorta gain historical importance in the future!

(I know 75% of you went to check out the penthouse website and 75% of the remaining will go and check now)

Curiousity they call it.

There are barely weeks left, Have you watched a Movie at Pradeep's?