Sunday, 1 November 2009

Dad's Khat-khatiya

Have you seen my dad's noble steed?

Theoretically its a scooter. A two wheeler.

Practically, its just metallic rubble twisted and turned like a totalled car which manages to go from A to B with a lot of noise and multiple break downs. When we had moved into the neighbourhood we stay in now, people had run out of their houses screaming, the first few times my dad came home on his khat-khatiya(Christened so based on the kind of sound the machine makes when rolling). We have forgotten where the wheels are.

When the local seismograph measures a consistent 4-5 on the Richter scale, the authorities know that my dad is out on his stallion.

Dad bought it on my 11th birthday(Which means I was 10) and I didn't get to ride on it. Of course, he took every other kid in the street and also all my cousins. No, this is not a sad "Dad didn't take me for a ride" story. Its just the irony that I mentioned.

Anyway, my dad rides it at an astonishingly high speed of 0.009 KM/h. In fact, its so fast that every time he rides, there is a reverse sonic boom we have to contend with. That is, the intensity of the noise generated from the khat-khatiyan is so high that it travels one full circle around the earth and hits him from behind a few hours after he started the journey, by then, he would have travelled about 800 meters from the starting point.

At one point, we all suspected that Valentino Rossi was my dad's secret love child.

I once had him on pillions and rode at around 10 KM/h. Khat-khatiya sounded like she was breathing after centuries, but my dad almost had a heart attack. Khat-khatiya never breathed like that again.

We once put a board "Please steal me" on it and parked it in the compound with the keys in the pawn the whole night. Next morning the modified sign now read "No thanks". We thought of adding a 100 rupee note the next night, but figured he will just take the note and leave.

The scooter was supposed to be the In-thing/best technology in the market when it came out and he dished out a small fortune on it then. I still wonder why. He has dished out more than 3/4ths of the small fortune on its repairs till now.

On a good day, khat-khatiya breaks down only twice. Dad pushes the metallic rubble for about 1 KM. However, its the reason he is in such good shape. So to travel a distance of roughly 5 kilometers, he spends about 200 ML of petrol and 2 tablets of Isordil.

But everybody forgets the good things khat-khatiya has done. Where would all the mechanics/service-guys and their children go, where would they be without Khat-Khatiya who has fed them all these years? Is there no value to social service anymore?

This post is dedicated to the best Khat-Khatiya in the whole wide world, and my daddy owns it! My daddy can beat your daddy at the Super Slow-mo Championship.


  1. hahaha!! Great post! why is it a she though??!

    any chance you will post a pic of the khat khatiya? I am curious now and I have gotta see it..err.. her i mean!

  2. sounds like it deserves a museum!

  3. Loved this post! It was so funny and sweet!

  4. Valentino Rossi and "secret love child"
    lol man....he he he

  5. I found this site using [url=][/url] And i want to thank you for your work. You have done really very good site. Great work, great site! Thank you!

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  6. @Perplexed ..I dunno..just a she. Cause she was beautiful in her time ;)

    @everybody who asked for a pic. No deal :P Sorry

    @Swapna.. hey thnx for the award and welcome to the blog. Liked yours too.

    @Abhi Yeah, even Rossi would think of it, if he saw my dad drive

    @Kavya Long time no see on our Insane page?
    And btw, its a Vespa

    @Anon wtf? Anyway thnx! :P

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