Friday, 23 April 2010

Christ kill me now..

One fine day at the cafe-

Chick: Hey Ice, I wanna help you get a girlfriend.

Me(Shocked and confused): Why?

Chick: Cause ya Gosta Gosta Get one..and I'm pretty good at this, believe you me.

Me(Now feeling a bit pumped up): gotta be open minded right? Why not.

Chick: Ok. Now first of all, I know this great plastic surgeon in Bangalore....

Friday, 16 April 2010

Not in this life...or next

The news is that on Monday I will get the big decision. The decision that will tell where I am headed.

A little birdie told me I will be posted out of the state and it will be the


The guy/gal/it who posts me outta state is a   %&($()   #&%(*   .!..

I am never going to the location down south, especially. Believe you me. I will stop the bus on the state border and hang myself on a tree instead. Maybe, I will hop across the border to piss on them and back before I hang myself.

I will probably post an update about it on my twitter, unless of course I'm fuming enough to make hell shit in its pants, which is likely the case, so don't wait for it.

Thursday, 15 April 2010

Dear Andrew Fcuking Hughes

I heard you damaged your brain when you sat down hard last week. That's pretty sad, especially because nobody will be able to tell the difference.

I read your last piece (of shit). I am sure that this is the closest you will get to T20...ever.

Anyway, I really suggest you take an aspirin and lie down. Otherwise all that excitement you got from writing your stupid ass article might give you a heart attack. Or even better, you might smudge your vision if you end up peeing in your old age diapers.

Not yours,


Friday, 9 April 2010


I'm gradually beginning to dread weekends. They have become the busiest days of my week.

Once called Mr.24x7 Online...I hardly spend 20 minutes online now.

Anyway, I just got home. On my way here in the bus, I had a guy with a fat ass sitting next to me and I hardly had any space to sit. I heaved a sign of relief when fat ass got off mid-way and a woman with a fatter ass sat next to me(almost on me) and squeezed me half to hell by pushing my poor straw-like body against the body of the bus.

I have been missing blogging. You still remember the 'Save our bloggers' campaign right? Only 1411 real bloggers left. Do your bit to save us. Or should I upload a cute picture of me sleeping? (Yes cute, I'm good at Photoshop)

I need a break. I think I'll go to sleep.