Wednesday, 31 August 2011

Typical Discussion of the Indian Batting line up

I wonder if the typical Discussion of the Indian Batting line up goes like this:

Opener 1 to Opener 2: Dude which one of us is going to get out in the first over?

Opener 2: Lets flip a coin and decide.


Opener 1: Damn it man. How come you get to get out every time? There is pressure on me after you leave.

After dismissal.

Number 3 AKA Rahul Dravid: We need to bat and bat and bat until these guys get bored and slip into a coma. We have to build an innings, do you read me soldier? DO YOU??

Opener 1 (Almost peeing himself): Sir! Yes Sir!

After stabilizing the innings Opener 1 and Rahul Dravid fall in quick succession and walk back to the pavillion to standing ovation.

People hurriedly login to Facebook and twitter to show their love for these cricketers. (Others like me stop watching once Dravid gets out)

Batsman 4 to Batsman 5: Dude!

Batsman 5: Dude!

Batsman 4: Are you thinking what I am thinking?

Batsman 5: Totally dude! Lets totally screw up what the top order did.

Batsman 4: I was actually thinking of getting high after the match, but that's also an awesome idea.

Approximately 35 seconds later Batsmen numbered 4,5,6,7,8 and 9 have fallen for around 3 runs. A phenomenon known as

The Great Indian Collapse

Number 10 and 11 hang around for around 10-20 deliveries and knock a few around. Make 4-9 look like little kittens, before being dismissed.

Number 11: We totally kicked their ass!


  1. This entire article would be classified as fiction about 5-6 months ago. No surprises now...

  2. Every match. EVERY SINGLE MATCH its the same pattern. The team has lost its will to survive I think.

    Funny post :)