Friday, 12 June 2015

The egg factory

I think I am turning into something. Not something dangerous. Not something dark - no that would have been cool. I am turning into something very weird. Something that I don't understand.

So this morning, I was at this restaurant called The egg factory where, well they make eggs. I like eggs. The thought of a nice sunny side up creeping up on me when I am super hungry is not something I can ignore.

Anyway, after the tiny-sized over-priced brunch, the waiter came back with my change after I had paid my bill. I was busy staring at twitter on my phone while actually contemplating the sophisticated realities of adult life that have befallen me, when he muttered something like

Waiter *nervously*: "Five rupees change you have to give"

Or something like that, which I did not hear correctly, but know now.

Me: " ' beg your pardon?"

Waiter *now almost shaking because his interaction with customer has gone for over 7 seconds*: "Five rupees...something something"

And then

Me: "I do not comprehend the nature of your predicament."
*adjusts monocle*

Waiter *blankly stares at me for 5 seconds while we both process what just happened*: "Sir we don't have five rupees. You please give."

WHY WOULD I SAY "I do not comprehend the nature of your predicament."


I am pretty sure normal people don't suddenly regurgitate things like that out of nowhere.

I was half wishing that he responded with

"Why sir art thou speaking like a humungous piece of self-glorified turd ball that you obviously are?"

Then I would have had some semblance of an atonement. But he didn't.

This and many other untold turd ball stories...